A Suicide and Hypocrisy

In the recent news update, a doctor of All Indian Institute of Medical Science (AIIMS) committed suicide because her husband was gay. She was ready to accept him but he mentally tortured her. So much, that she decided to commit suicide.

I’ll be honest, I have no sympathies towards that man and at the same time I have no sympathies for the woman. Yes, the man did wrong but what the woman chose as her final resort was just unacceptable to me. I can never accept that she had no choices left. 

Being a doctor herself, she should have known that the moment someone starts getting suicidal tendencies, they should consult a psychologist or psychiatrist in order to help them find a way.

Now, in her suicide note, she says she loved the man. Well if you really did, then after knowing about him, you should have given him divorce. But she didn’t. Do I need to tell you the first possible reason? She claims she loved him, so she might have thought that she cannot tell everyone that he is gay and if she wouldn’t have done that, then the people in “society” would have blamed her.

I don’t know why did that man marry her but both of them were cowards to take a stand for themselves. And ended up ruining each other’s lives.

That is one reason why I believe that people should, if not have the balls to come out then at least, take a stand for themselves.

Now why am I concerned about this suicide? Well people are pinging me saying, people like you end up being murderers. You people cannot respect women and ruin their lives.

You people of the society, who are homophobic, are the reason why homosexuals end up marrying someone of opposite sex. Because if you get to know that someone is homosexual, you turn head over heels to “turn them straight” or “cure” them. Which results in more closeted people ending up marrying a person of opposite sex.

Today, all the homophobes are pointing fingers towards LGBT community because of the act of one person. As if that person is the benchmark for LGBT community.

Tell me something. How many of you will utter a single bad word for the whole heterosexual community if one man rapes a woman or if a man beats his wife leading to her death?

Ask yourselves, will the whole heterosexual community be abused for the act of one person? I bet you won’t do that. So, why do you expect that there cannot be people in LGBT community who can be bad? And if one person is bad, does that make the whole community bad? Be logical at least.

My friends and I decided to not marry a girl for we do not want to ruin a girl’s life when she has all the rights to have a happy married life.

Today, the ones who are pointing fingers on the whole of LGBT community, I ask you this, when a lesbian is forced to marry and she is raped by her husband just because she does not want to have sex with him, will you say the same thing for that man? Let’s make it worse, if that woman also ends up committing suicide, and leaves a note confessing that she is a lesbian and her husband used to rape her every night, will you say the same thing? Will you then point out the whole of heterosexual people for that? Ask yourself, I don’t need the answer.

In another event, if a gay guy commits suicide, which actually happens more often than a woman committing suicide because of a gay husband, leaving a note that he is committing suicide because the people in the society do not let him live as he is and always abuse him, harass him and torture him, which again happens most of the time, will you point out to yourself that people like you are the reason for his death? Will you stop yourself from saying that he deserved to die? Again, I don’t need the answer, ask yourself.

Just because the media never gave a hype to the suicide of a middle class boy who ended up committing suicide because he had been molested several times, he had been harassed at every step and he has always been ill treated, doesn’t mean you people have never been the reason of someone’s death.

Yes my dear fellow humans, you have been the reason of several deaths across the world. You have been the reason for several people losing their families. And yes, you have been the reason for several people’s torment. Just because you don’t know doesn’t mean you people have never been at fault.

Today, I confess, I have had suicidal tendencies because I had lost all hopes from this society. I have tried taking my life away because I used to live in a fear that this society will make my life as well as my family’s life a living hell if they ever come to know of my sexuality.

Maybe my God had other plans. Maybe he wanted me to live and give a hope to several others. That is why he brought such people in my life who accepted me and made me believe that I have the right to live my life my way. Those people did not judge me for my sexual preferences. Rather they sat with me and tried to understand me.

Today, I thank him for blessing me with such people who loved and stood by me in every ups and downs. This all happened after section 377 was taken down by Delhi High Court. It opened up a debate, gave a new hope to people like me and many educated people actually took the pain of studying alternative sexuality.

No thanks to Supreme Court, this hope is one again taken away. We are once again criminal in the eyes of law and hence, forces us to marry someone we do not want. Yes, all thanks to people of the society like you all, who will never rest unless the person is married. You ask have so much interest in other’s lives that you do not care if you are making someone’s life a living hell and in return contributing to such situations.

The man is wrong, for he could have taken a stand for himself and should have chosen to not ruin someone’s life. But ask yourselves, are you not to be blamed? I’ll be honest with my feelings here, you all are equally responsible for the death of that woman, be it directly or indirectly.

And again, just because one person did something wrong, doesn’t mean the whole community is wrong. Just like one Hindu fundamentalist group creates riots and violence doesn’t mean every Hindu is a fundamentalist. I am not going to point out any other religion because I am a Hindu and my religion also has so many flaws that I do not think it’s better to point out someone else’s religion.

In the end, I will only urge you people to sit and think.

Thank you.

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5 thoughts on “A Suicide and Hypocrisy

  1. I chanced upon your blog from youth ki awaz.
    Just , one thing, suicide is not a choice.
    Please do not judge a suicide victim. You might have attempted suicide and that is scary, but the person who has done it was in a worst position than you perhaps.
    Come what may, please do not judge a suicide victim.
    Being a doctor does not mean that she cannot kill herself.

    1. I am not judging her. And I had no intention of telling that she is wrong. I understand that she might be in worst situation. All I had to say is people trying to tell that gays are the reason for such things should actually go deep into the root and they will find they are the reason for it.

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