I had been planning to write down about androgyny for so long but I think every thing is planned. I was going through the people around on a dating app and I came across a guy who told me about his straight best friend who loves makeup, heels and feminine clothes.
I was telling him about androgyny and it reminded me, I have to write about androgyny. I’ll share my views but before that, I had once asked my friend to share his views about androgyny.
This is Advik and he is one of the beautiful androgynous people I have come across. I asked him what does androgyny mean to him. Here’s what he has to say.
For me personally androgyny is more of an expression rather than a state of mind which is more so in the case of trans people. Androgyny basically means that your expression of exterior fashion or your choices of clothing does not reflect the gender you belong to but rather just allows you to have a broad horizon of individuality which doesn’t just limit to boy or girl. It also extends to various other choices of accessories or clothes which may belong to the opposite gender but you have a liking for it, Not because you want to be the opposite gender but just that you think your taste of fashion lies in that gender’s clothing.
I come across many people who think, being androgynous means you are gay. Not just that, but you are cross dresser or transgender. Well it isn’t about that.
As Advik said, androgyny is about your expression. Mostly in terms of fashion and clothing. An androgynous person can be straight as well as gay. What I want to wear has nothing to do with who am I having sex with.
Picture this, a very Greek God looking hunk wearing sexy formal clothes passes by you and you think, he must be straight. But later you find out, he is gay. Did his clothes tell you what does he like? No. Hence, your first lesson, don’t judge the book by its cover.
Now, androgyny is a mixture of both gender norms. No, I didn’t say sex. I said gender. Remember, gender is different from sex. Sex is about your anatomy and gender is about your mind and emotions. Sex is determined by the organs you are born with and gender is determined by social construct.
A person born with breast and vagina is a girl by sex but if she is a fighter, rides bike, picks up weights heavier than normal guy, etc which is supposed to be a manly thing to do, she will be tagged as a masculine girl and vice versa.
Now if that girl feels that she is in a wrong body and wishes to be a man someday or happens to materialize that plan one day, she will come under the trans category but what if she is comfortable with her body yet dresses up like a cool dude? She isn’t trans anymore. Then what is she? She doesn’t fit into the box made for women because she is masculine. She doesn’t fit into box made for men she is a girl. She doesn’t fit into the box made for trans people for she doesn’t feel she belongs to different gender.
That is androgyny. A combination of both genders and still comfortable with it. It doesn’t have to mean that the person is homosexual because that is a completely different thing. What I find sexually satisfying is my sexuality and what I feel about myself is my gender identity and androgyny is just an expression through clothes and fashion.
I love jewelries, makeup and heels but I love my goatee as well and I love my body as well. I do not wish to get breasts implanted, I do not wish to look like a woman. For some ignorant people, I may look like a freak but for the ones who can see the art will find beauty in it. Here’s to one of my androgynous looks.
I am not trying to be a woman and no, I do not want to be a woman. In Egyptians, makeup was a symbol of social status. In old English era, heels were the status symbol for men. In Indian mythologies, you find men wearing loads of jewelries as a status symbol.
Its nothing new and its not a mental disorder. Its just that we are living in a culture that wants everyone to follow the sheep herd. Do what others do, or else you are an outcast. The people who tell you that you are wrong are wrong themselves and you know it. Centuries ago, that was the culture and they weren’t told they are mentally challenged. It is just that people have lived like slaves for so long that they fear to challenge the norms and will pull the ones who break the stereotype.
Be proud of yourself, do what your heart tells you to as long as it is not hurting others or creating problem in someone else’s personal space. Even if you’re straight, you have all the right to try on the stuffs of opposite sex and if you feel good about it, nothing should stop you.