Category Archives: Homosexuality

Discrimination in the name of preference

So, being androgynous, I’m less of a man for the world. I’m effeminate because I’m not masculine enough and I often come across people who would say, “no offence but I don’t like effeminate guys”.

Now, many of you may not find it offensive or discriminatory, however, for a person who has been facing discrimination for all his life, fighting against the bullies still standing strong as who he is, you don’t really get the right to say, “you shouldn’t feel bad”, unless you’ve been on the receiving end. 

For me, masculine guys are a turn off but I prefer to say, “I prefer twinks”. If the person is still persistent, I simply start ignoring them. Ignoring someone may seem to be rude but ignoring a person whom you have clarified you aren’t attracted to them isn’t as rude as saying, “I don’t like bulky guys”. Because the moment you do that, it will hurt the ego of those gym freaks that how can he say no to a hot guy like me. 

A guy who spends time in gym, invests his time and money to get that body. He has done a hard work to get that body and that’s why they can feel offended when someone tells them that they are not someone’s type. Similarly, an effeminate guy has been through a lot of mental and social stigma. They have worked hard to be where they are and who they are and hence they too can feel offended by statements like, “I don’t like effeminate guys”.

Stop justifying your statement and think from their perspective for once. Moreover, stop giving stupid excuses for your statement. This one guy had an excuse, “I’m gay because I prefer GUYS. If I had to date someone feminine, I’d have been straight.” Trust me, he isn’t the only one to think like that. I’ve seen many such people. 

Here’s the thing, sexuality is purely determined by the sexual organs and not by gender. That’s why everyone needs to learn the difference between gender and sex. A straight man is a person with male genitalia (read dicks) and attracted to female genitalia (read vagina) and vice versa. Similarly, a gay man is a person with male genitalia and attracted to male genitalia.  

What I’m trying to say is, you are not gay because you like masculine people but because you like dicks over pussy. There are many masculine girls, doesn’t mean you can imagine having sex with her. Similarly straight men prefer pussy not femininity otherwise, they wouldn’t have minded dating effeminate guys. Now that its clear, why you are gay, lemme tell you guys a little secret : Effeminate guys also have dicks.

When you say, “I don’t like effeminate guys”, what you’re actually saying is, “I don’t like dicks of people who make me feel that they should’ve had pussy”. Now if that’s not offensive, then I don’t know what is. You might be best friends with effeminate guys, but with that one “I don’t like effeminate guys” you showed that you’re distrustful towards your own friends. 

There are so many way to not be offensive, like:

  1. I don’t get sexually attracted to guys like you but I don’t mind being friends (its not like every gay guy you come across, you have sex with them). 
  2. I am sexually attracted to such guys. 
  3. I prefer this type of guys. 
  4. I’m sorry but I think you should find someone else. 
  5. I have my eyes for someone else. 

And so many other ways. All you need to do is feel what your words can make others feel. That’s why we are humans. We have the capability to understand what others can feel and strive to help each other grow strong, instead of casually saying anything and then trying to defend it. Be kind to others as long as they are not being rude to you. 

Effeminate guys are guys too. Not liking them is not your preference. Your preference can be hunks, twinks, bears, otters, nerd, geek, etc. When you have to tell someone, tell them your preference. Why do you have to mention what is NOT your preference? 

With that, I should head to my work now. Enjoy your day and think before you speak. 

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To the people of Grindr…

If you are wondering what Grindr is, let me explain a bit. Its a dating application for gay or bi men. Its like not-so-sanskari version of shaadi dot com or bharatmatrimony dot com. You see, these websites give the facility to find a suitable partner for straight people for marriage (I guess. Do they really use it for marriage? I doubt.) But since there’s no concept of gay marriages, we go on grindr to find a suitable partner to date or just be friends with. People go there to find hookups as well (OH MY GOSH we homos are such perverts, isn’t it? Bleh, whatever.)

Today, I wanted to address a few things (or should I say people?) which I find irritating. But I hope you all will have a good laugh at it.

To all the “paid boys”, (for those who aren’t aware about the term, it means guys who have sex for money) in the world full of free sex, what makes you think I’ll be interested in spending my money on you? Even if you are Poseidon, I won’t spend money for sex. You should stop approaching people upfront. Leave it on your account that you charge for sex and the ones who are desperate for sex and can spend money for it, will approach you themselves.

To all the guys who mention “no sissy, no pansy, no fairy, no girly” etc on your profile, (yes, gay men can be homophobic too. Blame it on homophobic straight people’s mentality) after I show you my pictures in makeup and jewellery, I expect you to say, I’m sorry you’re not my type. That’s the whole point why I show you my pictures in makeup and jewellery. I’m trying to hint that boy, you’ve come to the wrong place. 

Do NOT tell me, “its OK. I don’t mind as long as you don’t come with makeup.” Like N.O. I don’t wear makeup on daily basis but B!£¢#, I’m gonna wear my makeup every time you are around to make you more uncomfortable. I have no obligation to do things to please you.

Now, to those who ask me, “how can you be top” (well top means the dominating one or in easy words for you to understand, the man between the two when it comes the things that we do in bed), well just because I wear makeup, it doesn’t mean that I have to be bottom. Being top or bottom has nothing to do with what you wear or how you dress up. You need to ask yourself, if you can drool over muscular bottoms with all your saliva dripping, why is it difficult to fix it in your head that the opposite of it is equally possible? Have you never heard about women who use strap-on with their men? Grow up people.

Now to those who abuse others because you don’t have your basics in place, please be mature enough. If you are sending or asking for nudes before you have introduced yourself, don’t expect me to be sugar plum to you. You don’t know how to begin the conversation and approach a person, you should go back to primary school. If you are going to ask me stupid questions, like things that I have already mentioned in my profile or things that I have already tried to divert in other direction in polite manner, they you will get sarcasm in return. Don’t blame me to be rude. Brush up your conversation skills so that you understand what people are trying to do or say when you ask them something. Not everyone likes to insult people in the very first go. I prefer to be humble and not thrash straight away. Don’t think my humility is waste of your time. Be specific, be precise. You’ll save a lot of my time as well as yours.
To those who approach me on Grindr about how they admire me, thank you so much for your appreciation. It would be better if you can approach me about that on my social networking sites. Its a bit awkward when my profile says I’m looking for a date and someone comes to just admire me for my social work. Not that I have anything against you guys but… Its like, your mother pulling your cheeks in front of your date (I guess?)

Well honestly, even though I want the above mentioned things to stop but they are the reason why Grindr is always interesting for me. So you guys can stop doing all of that and leave Grindr as a peaceful dating app or do whatever you like and I’ll have screenshots to share with my friends and we’ll laugh at you.

That’s all for now, I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. Love.

Time Out – Movie review

I am surprised I’m doing this. Like seriously. I usually find it a waste of time to write any review about movies. For Hollywood movies, I feel, its just entertainment and it is not necessary that everyone will like the movie genres I like.

I prefer fantasy, magical world and such kind of movies. Its rare that I like any other movie. But I am doing this for the first time because I think it is important for people to watch such movies.

Time Out is a cute movie. Its one gay themed movie produced in India for which I can proudly say, “Hey! I watched that movie and its Indian film.”

Story is about two brothers and their bonds. Younger brother who idealizes his elder brother happens to find out that his brother is sleeping with another guy. How the younger brother goes through a sudden emotional turmoil as his ideal guy is someone he never expected.

The beauty of this film is, it did not try to explain the hows and whys of homosexuality. The movie ends in a situation where the younger brother does not say anything but goes up to his brother and hugs him.

It gives a message that sometimes its not necessary to find reasons or explain everything. All it requires is, just accept it and move on. You don’t need to understand because you may not understand everything. The more you’ll try to understand things, the more you will end up in a mess. So let things be and move on with it.

Comparing to other queer themed movies that are produced in India, this was, by far the best movie produced. I am not going to include low budget films made by budding artists in the comparison for now.

This movie gives a gist of the negativity against the community but still has a lot of positive feeling to it. And that is the best part of the movie. It has focused on positivity more.

Talking about technicalities, director has played it safe with the camera angels. I have came across quite a few queer film makers who love to experiment with the angels which ends up looking like unnecessary attempt. And because the director decided to use the traditional ways, the movie turned out to be exactly the way it should have been.

Dialogues were very much new age India which makes it feel more realistic and the youth can connect to it. The dialogue the main protagonist, the elder brother, delivers when his best friend comes to see him after he comes out to her, had a nice impact and makes so much sense. There was one funny dialogue which can easily get ignored where a member of the band shouts, “That was the best performance ever”, even though that was the first performance. But it goes unnoticed very easily because the audience is in the flow and feeling the joy of the kids.

Talking about the music, I loved all of them. The movie had sensible songs and I am thankful to the music director, lyricist, musicians and everyone associated with the music of it.

In all, I will recommend every youth and elder population to go and watch it. I can’t be any more happy to watch this film. The mere fact that I am compelled to write about it, is the proof of my happiness.

One more movie for which I am going to write a review is Sundar, in which my friend has acted.

Go watch both the films if you haven’t. Cheers.

No CDs or TGs allowed.

Hello people. Please don’t read CDs here are compact discs. Here, CDs mean cross dressers and TGs, as you might know, mean transgenders.

Did I mention about homophobia within the community in my previous post? This is another form of discrimination within the community I am going to address today.

Continue reading No CDs or TGs allowed.

Dear Homophobes, Yes We Are Wrong

Everyday, I am coming across posts about rapes, suicides, murders and all the heart breaking news everyday and I cannot help myself writing this to all the homophobic people out there.

I accept I am wrong. My fault? I feel the love for a person of my same gender. Similarly, many of people are wrong. Because they cannot help loving the person they do.

Continue reading Dear Homophobes, Yes We Are Wrong

A Suicide and Hypocrisy

In the recent news update, a doctor of All Indian Institute of Medical Science (AIIMS) committed suicide because her husband was gay. She was ready to accept him but he mentally tortured her. So much, that she decided to commit suicide.

I’ll be honest, I have no sympathies towards that man and at the same time I have no sympathies for the woman. Yes, the man did wrong but what the woman chose as her final resort was just unacceptable to me. I can never accept that she had no choices left.  Continue reading A Suicide and Hypocrisy

What I can never understand…

I do not understand hate at all. I mean personal grudges or rivalries are fine because someone stole your girlfriend or harmed your loved ones in anyway or bought a better phone than yours are like personal reasons to envy someone or hate them but the hate for a whole community is something I can never understand.

One religious cult hates another one and kills the people who follow it or one region hates the other region and bombs it are the things I can never understand. And a kind of hate to which I am personally associated is hate towards sexuality other than heterosexuality. In this post, I am going to talk about the hate for alternate sexuality. Continue reading What I can never understand…

Stop being loud

“Its ok man. Your sexuality is just a part of you. Its not what defines who you are. You are more than your sexuality. Why the hell do you have to be so loud about your sexuality? Why do you have to make a big fuss out of it? Why do you need a pride parade to show off your sexuality? Why do you guys have to dress up in weird ways for such things? We straight people don’t have straight pride or anything like that. Because we know that our sexuality is not what defines us. You guys should understand that.”

Continue reading Stop being loud