Category Archives: LGBT

Revolution through Clothing

I have heard people talking about revolutions. How does revolution start? And does a revolution help at all? Let’s go back in history classes, shall we? (I know many of “desh bhakts” are going to be furious after reading this, but we are talking revolution, so who cares?)

Before we step into history, let’s understand what is revolution all about. Revolution is about creating a movement in the society that pushes the society to the extent that their usual ideologies are challenged and eventually changed.

Why do we need revolutions? You see, the society that we live in, it ain’t perfect, like everything else. But should we stop ourselves from trying to achieve that perfection? The answer is, no. This is something that, I assume, most of us would agree to.

If a person wants to be a singer, they have practice to improve their vocals. If a person wants to be an actor, they have to practice to improve their acting skills. This all, is on individual level, where we push our limits to achieve perfection, even though we know perfection cannot be achieved. There will always be a room for improvement or betterment.

You see, on an individual level, we all try to improve ourselves to become better and better. But when it comes to society, that individual efforts aren’t enough. That effort will improve you, sure. But is that the need of the society? No. Society as a whole, needs different changes to improve.

Now, let’s stop into history. Back in history, India used to have a tradition where widows were forced to burn alive with their dead husband. Some people felt that it wasn’t right. However, they didn’t say anything because they felt, it’s a common thing, it’s a tradition, it’s culture. We shouldn’t argue or question it. They, on an individual level, knew in their hearts that this tradition is wrong, but they didn’t want to challenge it.

Then, someone created a revolution, fought against this tradition and today, we don’t have that tradition anymore. So you see, the tradition or the norms that we follow, we may or may not realize that it is harmful for some section of the society, however it is better if we get rid of that tradition or norm. In order to bring that change, a revolution has to start.

Now who would do that? Since it’s about society, shouldn’t it be started by a bunch of people with the same mindset? Of course, but that’s not how it’s going to start, EVER. Let me tell you why. We are lazy a**holes (excuse me for my language but that’s truth). We love everything served to us in a platter. Most of us don’t want to step in the kitchen to prepare that platter for ourselves.

That’s exactly what happens when it comes to revolution. Everyone would say, I’m hungry (for a change) but I can’t go in the kitchen to cook (or start a revolution). Amongst all these hungry lazy people, one has to step up and do something to start the change. When someone takes an initiative, the people who were waiting for it will join in.

So you see, even to change the society, one individual is enough. The revolution will begin. People will join in. Imagine, if Mr. Gandhi wouldn’t have initiated Dandi March, probably salt would have been controlled by British rule throughout, even though it was all ours. (Yes, I admire a few things that Mr. Gandhi did in his lifetime. I may not agree with all his ideologies though.) [P.S. This is the part for which I’m expecting a lot of desh bhakths are going to be angry on me. Moving on.]

Now, one of the things that many people do not realize or acknowledge is how clothing has created so many revolutions. There was a time, when India used to follow traditional clothes. They were marvelous and mesmerizing. They still are. However, there were some clothing items which were more practical and easy to be in but the society was not ready to accept it.

Some women and men decided to break the norms in terms of clothing and things changed. What was weird once, it became a norm later. But have we reached perfection yet? Let’s remember, there’s always a room for improvement.

Today, clothes are become gender specific. You have to be of a particular gender (out of the two only) to wear certain kind of clothes. But then, now that we know LGBTQ community exist (for some reason) we need to understand that there are people who may not fit into the idea of gender binaries.

I understand that there are some clothing items that are designed according to the anatomy of human bodies but then, to be very honest, there are various ways to work that part out. So, today if I buy a gown for myself and if I can carry it gracefully, I don’t see why anyone who has not paid my bills, should question my choices.

The reason why I chose to write this today is because I have a pair of amazing comfortable 4 inches heels. I was wearing them while I was going through a public metro. I noticed a few people taking my picture, trying to be all secretive and discreet but you can see where the camera was pointing and how was the phone held.

It was a weird and strange sight for them today but with that they will go back with the sense, “Oh so that’s also in fashion these days.” They may not like anyone doing that in their family, I guess, but they will not be as startled as they were today when they see it next. The reason why I’m sharing this is because, you should know, we all, at our levels can bring a revolution that will take the society to a better path. Just know whatever revolution you try to bring, it should not bring chaos or it should not harm others. Rather it should bring acceptance to the vivid spectrum of individuality.

With that, I would like you all to meet Roshini Kumar, an amazing photographer who has taken an initiative to bring a revolution through her magazine called Revolution Magazine.

Her magazine is going to bring out the uncensored and unapologetic images of real people so that the weird for the world, once again becomes normal and people will once again find acceptance in this world.

Roshini, through her magazine has recently unveiled her first shoot for the magazine that shows three amazing drag queens, Little Mickey, Veronique and Divine Scarlett (that’s my drag name if you guys have read in my previous post). I am not going to share the images here because I want you guys to take an initiative and click on the links to find these WONDERFUL images. Trust me, they are worth it and you should go and follow them.

With that, I’m signing off now. I hope to see you guys on the other side of THIS revolution, if not on the journey with us.

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Drag – Opinion

Disclaimer: “These are my personal views and has nothing to do with what others think or feel about drag. It maybe different for different people.”

In the recent turn of events, India is seeing a surge in the number of drag queens emerging from the corners of the country, looking fabulous AF while coming out of the closet, after carefully picking their wardrobe to slay them all. But what is Drag? This comes as an important question because not knowing what drag is all about is a disaster in every possible way. You HAVE to know what is it all about.

A lot of people come to me and ask me if I’m a transgender or if I’m a cross dresser or if I do this for dhandha (for those who don’t know, it means if you do it for sex work). Every time I hear that, I feel like ugh I don’t have enough energy to deal with you RN.

Let me answer everything that you should know and what I feel. Drag queens are women impersonators. For a woman to transform from tired sleepy looking girl to fresh, glamorous girl, makeup works great but you need to know the art to make that happen. However, to transform a man into a woman, now that’s some big task. You can’t just slap on some foundation and lashes, apply some liner and contouring and say I’m impersonating a woman. No. Like N.O.

It’s a long process and it needs a fine understanding of women’s body structure, feminine behavior, makeup skills, clothing, etc. But, is that it? Is that all what drag is about? Isn’t that like cross dressing? The answer is, no. Drag isn’t just impersonating women.

Drag is always over the top. It’s loud, it’s bold, it’s unchained freedom. It probably will make you feel uncomfortable because we are programmed from childhood that women are supposed to be like this, they should dress like that, they should do this etc. Drag queens break those norms, they impersonate the women and make them exactly opposite to what society thinks an ideal woman should be like.

Drag queens can bring the women from your sexual fantasy to reality or sometimes from your darkest fear too. They can be like a real woman or like an ET woman but a woman nonetheless.

But why to sexualize womanhood? Isn’t that like anti feminist? That’s your limits thought process. Drag queens sexualize the womanhood at times but that’s to make the human race uncomfortable. So much so that eventually it becomes a regular thing and teach the humans that even if a woman is dressed in a certain way that makes you sexually attracted to her, it doesn’t mean she is dressed that way for you to rape her without her consent. Her choice of clothing is because she wanted to and not for you. Let’s say, even if she’s dressed to pick up a guy at the bar, that does not mean it’s for any random guy. THAT, my dear friend, is true feminism where a woman is not tagged as a slut for having a consent in picking up her sexual partner.

So you see, Drag is not just about impersonating a woman but also to fight for the rights of women. But then isn’t that a Gay thing? So instead of bringing out a message for your own community, why women? First, because we care for the women in this world. Second, it’s not just for women’s rights only. It does fight for the LGBT community. Drag is inclusive of everyone. I have a straight friend who is cis male and attracted to women and he loves to do Drag. Straight cis gender female like Lady Gaga and transgender woman like Peppermint love to do Drag.

As I said, it’s an art. An art to transform yourself into someone else. Live a life of a true free queen. Free from the inhibitions that society has put on you. Express your deep desires that you could never express as your real self through a character or a creature that you embody as a Drag.

How do we express? Just by putting on the clothes and makeup on? No. This is another aspect of Drag Queens. We are performers. We express ourselves through performances. It could be dance, song, act, poetry, stand up comedy, etc.

And for many queens, Drag is a therapy (I’m quoting this from RuPaul’s Drag Race season 9, but it’s true). I’ll give my example, I won’t speak for others. A few days ago, my depression was taking over and it was consuming me. I still haven’t got out of it completely. My depression had hit so low that I was ready to give up on my life. Many of you who have been following me, I know you have seen me as this strong person who fights back from all the adversities and you couldn’t imagine me giving up on my life, but it’s true.

Lately, everything was going wrong in my life and I didn’t feel like taking it anymore. I didn’t want to live. But then my friend suggested me to try Drag. I have always loved makeup and I have fought through everything like a Queen. Maybe I could use that skill and bring out that Queen to everyone.

I had nothing else to hold on to so I decided I will give it a try. Also because somewhere inside my heart, I wanted to vent out in front of real people and not just online.

Divya Roop is already a name which a lot of people look up to as this strong warrior who would fight and rise against above every struggle. I couldn’t afford to take away that hope from my friends around the world. I tried and it was always a disaster. I had reached to the conclusion that I cannot show this world my vulnerabilities.

I had stopped talking about what was bothering me or what was killing me internally. My friends had to poke me for weeks or months even to get things out of my heart and gradually that also stopped because I learnt to wear a smile to hide my emotions and thoughts.

I knew in my heart that I’m almost at the verge of taking a step forward to my final fall. So when my friend asked me to try Drag, I immediately found a way to let it all out. In front of the world, it will be my alter ego who can be vulnerable and broken and not Divya even though behind that mask, it will still be me letting it all out.

For this world, I’m still that fighter who has yet again found a way to fight it back. On that note, I would like to introduce you all to my alter ego, Divine Scarlet.

Divine is very new but very ambitious. I hope you all would love her and pray for her to achieve everything she hopes to find in her life.

And I hope this was insightful and I hope that the drag queens in India would one day SHOOK the world. I hope you guys like it and share it with your friends if you feel they should know and learn about this growing lifestyle.

How does it feel to drag?

The first picture was taken a couple of days before I shaved my beard. My hair was shampooed in the morning before I left for my work.

The second picture was taken a couple of days after the first pic. Shaved, not shampooed hair, makeup on, nothing unusual.

In the first pic, I don’t think I look bad (because I can’t look bad in pictures) but when you look at the second picture, you feel like that’s such a pretty lady. I don’t mean to sound like I’m full of myself (maybe a little bit?) but you have to agree, the second picture does look like the old Hollywood actresses’ look. Even the messed up hair feels like has fallen to right places. It doesn’t look slutty or cheap but more like sultry and romantic.

I’m the same person in the end, behind those beard as well as the makeup. I feel the same way for the people I love and the ones I don’t. It doesn’t change. If I love someone, I still love that person.

I have not done drag drag previously but I have gone out in makeup many times with my beard and liner and jewelries, because I love to bend the gender roles in dressing and I still love to do it and I will continue doing it.

However I wanted to try drag because for me, it’s an art. To become like a woman, to maybe appear like someone you love so much is a form of art. For example, when I saw my picture, I felt like I looked like my mother in her young age (taller body with shorter hair version though).

To become so pretty that you feel you are exactly like your mother, a face you have loved since your first breath is no less than an art form. To feel what your mother might have felt amongst men staring at her, to feel what it feels like to be a woman takes courage, pair of metal balls, might I say.

It’s not some mere desire to look like a woman nor some dirty trick to get men in the bed. Honestly, the side of men you’ll see after going drag, you might would want to give up on the desire for men, it can be so nasty. However, heart wants what it wants.

It’s not some fun game honey! It takes a lot of nerve to do drag or might I say, it takes a lot of nerve to be a woman. So before you consider a queen some cheap cross dresser you hooked up with over Grindr, you better watch your mouth.

And to all the queens who have been doing this for so long, you all have my respect and love.

It wasn’t a date…

He was as beautiful as the morning sun shining through the small water drop holding on to the spike of the pine leaf after a chilly snow fall. Those green eyes glimmer in the dim streetlight through those big beautiful lashes as if the child inside him lives in the silent moments of the night.

His smile is mischievous and the curve of his lips hide his eyes as they stretch for the smile. His hair is as wild as his spirit and they peep through that big beanie that he is fond of. That one lock of his hair that wouldn’t listen and will fall on his face no matter what he does. Those beard are pointy but they all look as if they know which direction to grow without failing.

We would walk on the streets holding each others hands. I would hold him as he comfortably curls into my arms when we go to sleep. That kiss, that first kiss of the year, just made me feel like, in this moment, I have got everything that I want, everything that I ever needed. 

No sadness, no depression, no anxiety, no mood swings. It felt like I have it all and I could live in this moment forever. Oh, I would give anything to have that moment as the only moment of my life. My soul felt happy. 

But… It wasn’t a date. We didn’t mean to feel the love. It just happened. I was scared to even hold him close because he came in as a guest. You don’t know if he would end up feeling that I wanted sexual favors for letting him stay at my home right? But once we held each other, we spent moments together. 

The simplest memories of being with him, walking the streets holding the hands while people looked at us is beautiful. I don’t even know what their expressions were because I was caught up in the beauty of that boy. I mean, what else can you expect? 

I have told myself several times now, he’s not gonna stay. You don’t know how he feels about you. You don’t know if he feels for you how you feel for him. But for some reason, the moment his face shines through his beautiful mane, my heart skips a beat and the moment he smiles, I forget what was I telling myself. 

I guess, the moments that I shared with him were the most beautiful ones I can have as my new year’s beginning. Whatever that was, wasn’t a date but it was perfect. 

Tomorrow, once he will be gone for good, I might will need a long time to forget and move on. I’ll take a leave now, hoping that these moments in my mind never fade away. 

Good night. 

Discrimination in the name of preference

So, being androgynous, I’m less of a man for the world. I’m effeminate because I’m not masculine enough and I often come across people who would say, “no offence but I don’t like effeminate guys”.

Now, many of you may not find it offensive or discriminatory, however, for a person who has been facing discrimination for all his life, fighting against the bullies still standing strong as who he is, you don’t really get the right to say, “you shouldn’t feel bad”, unless you’ve been on the receiving end. 

For me, masculine guys are a turn off but I prefer to say, “I prefer twinks”. If the person is still persistent, I simply start ignoring them. Ignoring someone may seem to be rude but ignoring a person whom you have clarified you aren’t attracted to them isn’t as rude as saying, “I don’t like bulky guys”. Because the moment you do that, it will hurt the ego of those gym freaks that how can he say no to a hot guy like me. 

A guy who spends time in gym, invests his time and money to get that body. He has done a hard work to get that body and that’s why they can feel offended when someone tells them that they are not someone’s type. Similarly, an effeminate guy has been through a lot of mental and social stigma. They have worked hard to be where they are and who they are and hence they too can feel offended by statements like, “I don’t like effeminate guys”.

Stop justifying your statement and think from their perspective for once. Moreover, stop giving stupid excuses for your statement. This one guy had an excuse, “I’m gay because I prefer GUYS. If I had to date someone feminine, I’d have been straight.” Trust me, he isn’t the only one to think like that. I’ve seen many such people. 

Here’s the thing, sexuality is purely determined by the sexual organs and not by gender. That’s why everyone needs to learn the difference between gender and sex. A straight man is a person with male genitalia (read dicks) and attracted to female genitalia (read vagina) and vice versa. Similarly, a gay man is a person with male genitalia and attracted to male genitalia.  

What I’m trying to say is, you are not gay because you like masculine people but because you like dicks over pussy. There are many masculine girls, doesn’t mean you can imagine having sex with her. Similarly straight men prefer pussy not femininity otherwise, they wouldn’t have minded dating effeminate guys. Now that its clear, why you are gay, lemme tell you guys a little secret : Effeminate guys also have dicks.

When you say, “I don’t like effeminate guys”, what you’re actually saying is, “I don’t like dicks of people who make me feel that they should’ve had pussy”. Now if that’s not offensive, then I don’t know what is. You might be best friends with effeminate guys, but with that one “I don’t like effeminate guys” you showed that you’re distrustful towards your own friends. 

There are so many way to not be offensive, like:

  1. I don’t get sexually attracted to guys like you but I don’t mind being friends (its not like every gay guy you come across, you have sex with them). 
  2. I am sexually attracted to such guys. 
  3. I prefer this type of guys. 
  4. I’m sorry but I think you should find someone else. 
  5. I have my eyes for someone else. 

And so many other ways. All you need to do is feel what your words can make others feel. That’s why we are humans. We have the capability to understand what others can feel and strive to help each other grow strong, instead of casually saying anything and then trying to defend it. Be kind to others as long as they are not being rude to you. 

Effeminate guys are guys too. Not liking them is not your preference. Your preference can be hunks, twinks, bears, otters, nerd, geek, etc. When you have to tell someone, tell them your preference. Why do you have to mention what is NOT your preference? 

With that, I should head to my work now. Enjoy your day and think before you speak. 

To the people of Grindr…

If you are wondering what Grindr is, let me explain a bit. Its a dating application for gay or bi men. Its like not-so-sanskari version of shaadi dot com or bharatmatrimony dot com. You see, these websites give the facility to find a suitable partner for straight people for marriage (I guess. Do they really use it for marriage? I doubt.) But since there’s no concept of gay marriages, we go on grindr to find a suitable partner to date or just be friends with. People go there to find hookups as well (OH MY GOSH we homos are such perverts, isn’t it? Bleh, whatever.)

Today, I wanted to address a few things (or should I say people?) which I find irritating. But I hope you all will have a good laugh at it.

To all the “paid boys”, (for those who aren’t aware about the term, it means guys who have sex for money) in the world full of free sex, what makes you think I’ll be interested in spending my money on you? Even if you are Poseidon, I won’t spend money for sex. You should stop approaching people upfront. Leave it on your account that you charge for sex and the ones who are desperate for sex and can spend money for it, will approach you themselves.

To all the guys who mention “no sissy, no pansy, no fairy, no girly” etc on your profile, (yes, gay men can be homophobic too. Blame it on homophobic straight people’s mentality) after I show you my pictures in makeup and jewellery, I expect you to say, I’m sorry you’re not my type. That’s the whole point why I show you my pictures in makeup and jewellery. I’m trying to hint that boy, you’ve come to the wrong place. 

Do NOT tell me, “its OK. I don’t mind as long as you don’t come with makeup.” Like N.O. I don’t wear makeup on daily basis but B!£¢#, I’m gonna wear my makeup every time you are around to make you more uncomfortable. I have no obligation to do things to please you.

Now, to those who ask me, “how can you be top” (well top means the dominating one or in easy words for you to understand, the man between the two when it comes the things that we do in bed), well just because I wear makeup, it doesn’t mean that I have to be bottom. Being top or bottom has nothing to do with what you wear or how you dress up. You need to ask yourself, if you can drool over muscular bottoms with all your saliva dripping, why is it difficult to fix it in your head that the opposite of it is equally possible? Have you never heard about women who use strap-on with their men? Grow up people.

Now to those who abuse others because you don’t have your basics in place, please be mature enough. If you are sending or asking for nudes before you have introduced yourself, don’t expect me to be sugar plum to you. You don’t know how to begin the conversation and approach a person, you should go back to primary school. If you are going to ask me stupid questions, like things that I have already mentioned in my profile or things that I have already tried to divert in other direction in polite manner, they you will get sarcasm in return. Don’t blame me to be rude. Brush up your conversation skills so that you understand what people are trying to do or say when you ask them something. Not everyone likes to insult people in the very first go. I prefer to be humble and not thrash straight away. Don’t think my humility is waste of your time. Be specific, be precise. You’ll save a lot of my time as well as yours.
To those who approach me on Grindr about how they admire me, thank you so much for your appreciation. It would be better if you can approach me about that on my social networking sites. Its a bit awkward when my profile says I’m looking for a date and someone comes to just admire me for my social work. Not that I have anything against you guys but… Its like, your mother pulling your cheeks in front of your date (I guess?)

Well honestly, even though I want the above mentioned things to stop but they are the reason why Grindr is always interesting for me. So you guys can stop doing all of that and leave Grindr as a peaceful dating app or do whatever you like and I’ll have screenshots to share with my friends and we’ll laugh at you.

That’s all for now, I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. Love.