Category Archives: Love

In Love With A Straight Boy

I remember the first time he sent me friend’s request on Facebook. He was mutual friend of my college friend because they stayed in same locality. But his reason to send me request was not because he saw me as a mutual friend with someone he knew, like most of the kids do, but because he had seen me at Delhi Comic Con participating in cosplay.

My first question to him was, do you have any of our pics together? I was looking out for my pictures in the cosplay, I’m sorry. To my disappointment, he did not take any picture with me (I hate you for that BTW. I’m going to make you read this and you will know this is for you assh*le).

Anyway, I still let him be in my friends list even after such a disappointment. I’m such a kind person you see. Just kidding. I liked him actually because he was such a cute kid. Completely stupid, but cute. Plus point was, he has DOGS. And who does not love dogs and cute dog lovers? 

We never met after that. We exchanged numbers. Started talking over WhatsApp, which was on and off (mostly off because that b*tch is too pricy. *Insert a straight face emoticon here*). However, he was too cute to resist flirting with him and he knew my sexuality because… Well I’m like the rainbow unicorn farting rainbow gas and shitting rainbow all over my Facebook.

He was unlike many of those macho men who get offended or react to a man flirting with them. He knew my appreciation towards him was and is genuine. He started talking to me more comfortably. He would come to me with most silly questions.

He would come and tell me about his hookups with girls and ask me about his silly notions about STDs and sex and even about his concerns related to his genitals. He trusted me and he still does. He’ll cry alone and not tell anyone but he will talk to me. I’ll try to comfort him. 

In knowing that he trusts me and knowing that he does love me, I fell in love with him. I know we can’t be together and I do not wish to cause him any trouble for my happiness. But there is a love that we share which is between us despite of our sexualities. This love is beyond sexual desires, beyond brotherly love, beyond friendly love.

He knows that I want to cuddle with him, play with his hair throughout the night, hold him to sleep, protect and fight for him with anyone and anything and he loves me because he knows that my love for him is not going to change. He knows he can count on me and in return, I know, even though he hardly replies or shows his face, he is the one person I can count on for the love that is eternal.

Having said that, I know it in my head that he won’t be mine, so I know I’ll love him till the end but I can’t hold on to him. I know there’s someone out there who will be mine and I will not love him any less however, the reason why I wanted to write about my straight love is because people should know, sexuality may define what we like sexually but it still does not warrant the love you feel for someone.

People should know that love and sex are not necessarily mutual to each other. Yes, the best is when both are combined together but you can still find happiness with the two existing separately.

On that note, I’ll put this to rest and share the link with that boy on WhatsApp​ now. Thanks for reading. Do share your feedbacks. ❤

Time Out – Movie review

I am surprised I’m doing this. Like seriously. I usually find it a waste of time to write any review about movies. For Hollywood movies, I feel, its just entertainment and it is not necessary that everyone will like the movie genres I like.

I prefer fantasy, magical world and such kind of movies. Its rare that I like any other movie. But I am doing this for the first time because I think it is important for people to watch such movies.

Time Out is a cute movie. Its one gay themed movie produced in India for which I can proudly say, “Hey! I watched that movie and its Indian film.”

Story is about two brothers and their bonds. Younger brother who idealizes his elder brother happens to find out that his brother is sleeping with another guy. How the younger brother goes through a sudden emotional turmoil as his ideal guy is someone he never expected.

The beauty of this film is, it did not try to explain the hows and whys of homosexuality. The movie ends in a situation where the younger brother does not say anything but goes up to his brother and hugs him.

It gives a message that sometimes its not necessary to find reasons or explain everything. All it requires is, just accept it and move on. You don’t need to understand because you may not understand everything. The more you’ll try to understand things, the more you will end up in a mess. So let things be and move on with it.

Comparing to other queer themed movies that are produced in India, this was, by far the best movie produced. I am not going to include low budget films made by budding artists in the comparison for now.

This movie gives a gist of the negativity against the community but still has a lot of positive feeling to it. And that is the best part of the movie. It has focused on positivity more.

Talking about technicalities, director has played it safe with the camera angels. I have came across quite a few queer film makers who love to experiment with the angels which ends up looking like unnecessary attempt. And because the director decided to use the traditional ways, the movie turned out to be exactly the way it should have been.

Dialogues were very much new age India which makes it feel more realistic and the youth can connect to it. The dialogue the main protagonist, the elder brother, delivers when his best friend comes to see him after he comes out to her, had a nice impact and makes so much sense. There was one funny dialogue which can easily get ignored where a member of the band shouts, “That was the best performance ever”, even though that was the first performance. But it goes unnoticed very easily because the audience is in the flow and feeling the joy of the kids.

Talking about the music, I loved all of them. The movie had sensible songs and I am thankful to the music director, lyricist, musicians and everyone associated with the music of it.

In all, I will recommend every youth and elder population to go and watch it. I can’t be any more happy to watch this film. The mere fact that I am compelled to write about it, is the proof of my happiness.

One more movie for which I am going to write a review is Sundar, in which my friend has acted.

Go watch both the films if you haven’t. Cheers.

You shameless western people!

“So as per the latest update, some of the shameless beings of our society are promoting public display of love and doing obscene things like kissing in public keeping our cultural values at stake. These people do not have any shame. They should rather go pee on the roadsides because that is much better than kissing in public. Of course, even for that, you must be a man. If you are a girl or a woman, you are wrong at every point anyway because hellooooooo… YOU ARE A WOMAN OKAYYYY????

What is this #KissOfLove nonsense? Bringing west to our culture. Such people I tell you. These people are shameless and have no self respect. They just want to adopt western culture. These people should leave India and go to USA. They are the slaves of such bad cultures.

Our Indian culture is soooo much better. If a guy will attend such protests, we will ask him to send his sisters and mothers to us. And if a girl attends such protest, it simply means that she is welcoming the rapists. Why should we even try to understand what was the aim of the protest? WHO CARES? Continue reading You shameless western people!

Love

Love is a beautiful emotion that makes you go blah blah blah…

Let’s face it. Its just another emotion that a person may or may not experience. Love is not something special. For every person, love may mean something different. For some, its a feeling that brings heart breaks in the end. For some, it maybe the beds of roses and unicorns and rainbows.

Continue reading Love

Smudged liner

I put on some liner around my eyes, got dressed up for a party, walked in alone. People came in. Everybody danced till their hearts were satisfied. I saw a guy. He was cute. I was not able to decide what to do.

I wanted to tell him how beautiful his eye were, how rosy his lips were. I wanted to tell him how different he was from the crowd. I wanted to tell him how his eyes have got me looking into those without a blink. Wish I had the courage to walk up to him and tell him that I wish to steal one kiss from him and find my solace. Wish I had the courage to tell him that I want to stay right here looking at him forever. Continue reading Smudged liner

Our culture you say?

I would like to apologise in advance for I am going to use some foul words as I am really furious right now. So much that I wish a few people could burn right in front of my eyes. And also if this hurts your religious sentiments, then let me tell you beforehand, I am a Hindu and a lover of Shiva and Krishna, most probably they were more advanced than the Colonial British values rushing in the bloods under the Indian skins of today, which unfortunately constitutes the majority of Indian population. And yeah I mean no offence but I am trying to put the facts in front of you with the least harsh words I can, after what I have faced today. Continue reading Our culture you say?

Come back

“Isn’t it hurting you as well? Can’t you feel the pain? You know how much I need you. Look into my eyes and tell me you don’t. You cannot look into my eyes. You are looking away. Just once, look into my eyes and tell me you don’t love me. Stop. Don’t leave me. Continue reading Come back