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This is where we began…

This is a trip to the historical India/Hindustan/Bharat. Have you ever wondered how did India get its several names? Where did the word Hindustan or India or Bharat come from? What exactly is Hindu? This trip to the ancient India will make you wonder about several things and may answer a few questions you might have had.

Long ago, there was a civilisation that was prospering near Sindhu river. That civilisation is popularly known as Indus civilisation. It had over 5 million population and over 1,056 cities, as found in 1999. Who were these people? They were Dravidians. I know, many of you must be thinking but aren’t they South Indians? 

The reason why they are said to be Dravidians is because the language and scriptures found in Indus civilisation is very much like of the modern South Indian languages. During this period, some Indo-Iranian had settled around them who were called Aryans. Now, Aryans were not a race but it was self-designation of being “noble”.

Aryans and Dravidians had cultural exchange where Aryans borrowed many words and cultural practices from Dravidians while Dravidians borrowed a few from the Aryans. Remember Shiva was a Dravidian and Gauri was an Aryan and their marriage had happened in Dravidian way. Their marriage has been glorified in our scriptures for that was the mark of first inter-caste marriage and the beginning of the first cultural exchange between the two.

Eventually, there was a draught in the Indus / Sindhu river which had forced the people of that civilisation to move eastwards. The Dravidians had eventually started ruling the lands which covered a big part of the Asia, from South India to Southeast Asia including Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia and Southern Thailand. Aryans took hold of the central India, Punjab, the land of give rivers and the lands that were evacuated by the Dravidians earlier.

When Dravidians were a part of Indus civilisation, the Persians used to call them Hindus. Now, Hindu was not actually a religion, it meant the people of Sindhu basin. Their pronunciation for “S” was “H” which actually was a silent alphabet, which is why Sindhu was called Indus. Hinduism is a term that came later on as a religion however that was supposed to mean the cultural practices of the people of Indus civilisation and the term Hindustan was given by Persians to the land and the cities of Indus civilisation. Hindustan was not a land of Hindu religion but a land around the Indus river.

The Europeans got to know about Indus civilisation through the Arabian countries and termed the people of the civilisation as Inde, which later became India, a civilisation developed on the basins of Indus river. Both Hindustan and India are foreign words for the land that was flourishing around the river.

Even though Aryans have had cultural trades with Dravidians and had borrowed a lot of things from Dravidians, still they were self-designated noble and considered Dravidians low in status. One of the perfect example is again from Shiva-Gauri marriage where Gauri’s father was displeased with daughter’s decision of marrying a Dravidian. When the Aryans told the stories of their marriages, they went to the extent of saying that Shiva was accompanied by ghosts and demons to his marriage, even though those were the people of Shiva’s tribe.

When Aryans were ruling the lands ranging from Punjab to Bengal, covering most of the northern India, the land was called Aryavrata which means land of Aryans. Aryavrata had seen the rise of a great emperor named Bharata, under whose rule, Aryavrata prospered and thus Aryavrata became Bharatvarsha, which means the land of king Bharata.

Now, throughout the ancient India, few things that I find worth noticing:

  1. Hindu was not a religion.
  2. Hindustan was not a land of people who followed Hinduism.
  3. Hindu, Hindustan, India are foreign terms for Dravidians and those who were settled in the Indus valley.
  4. The original Hindus were Dravidians and not Aryans.
  5. Aryans were self designated noble people who used to dislike Dravidians for they were darker and did not look like them.
  6. Aryans were so discriminatory that they went to the extent of calling Dravidians ghostly and demonic.
  7. King Bharata was one of the great kings in Aryavrata because of which the northern India was once known as Bharatvarsha.
  8. Oh, and did I mention Kauravas and Pandavas were from Bharata’s lineage which had led to Mahabharata, the biggest war in the land of King Bharata?

After knowing all of this, let’s come to a bit recent history of our country. When the nation was formed, all the rulers that were brought under the democratic rule under the name of Republic of India, their lands combined to form one big India / Hindustan / Bharat. The regions that were brought under this republic was one of the biggest republic union the world has seen because the lands occupied by those rulers were a big portion of Asia.

The history of ancient India shows us that there had been cultural differences, there had been discrimination, there had been rivalries however, at the same time, there had been cultural exchanges, trades, inter-caste/tribe marriages, the attempts to form a union between the two tribes.

Even though today, these two tribes have been united under the republic of India, we Aryans, still somewhere in our minds believe that we are above others, we still have that self designated feeling of being noble. The reason why North East and South India are still discriminated is because they all were Dravidians who did not have facial features or skin color like us and we, Aryans thought of them as Dasas.

One of our patriotic songs, “Saare jahan se achchha Hindustan humara” has a verse that says, “Muzhab nahi sikhata aapas me baer rakhna”, which means the religions don’t teach us to fight with each other. I find it interesting though why this line was included in the song. Here’s what I believe:

Throughout this blog, you must have noticed there’s no mention of any religious difference. The differences are based on looks, status, culture but not religion. Aryans were Indo-Iranians, Pakistan, Afghanistan, etc were all a part of Indus civilisation. Then why our patriotic song had to mention the religion? Where does this sudden surge of religious differences come from? Did I mention that there were Buddhists, Jains, etc used to live with the other religious groups with no conflicts on religious views in ancient India?

When British army invaded India, they had adopted Christianity and they were told to follow religious beliefs so much that if they don’t, their lands will be burnt by the Lord, while we were still enjoying our freedom and prospering. The British rulers noticed that India was enjoying all sorts of freedom and there was peaceful coexistence amongst various religious beliefs.

They started dividing the people on the basis of religion because there was nothing else to divide the country on. The moment the people started getting divided, it became easier for them to take over and rule and exploit us and our resources, eventually leading to our downfall. The peaceful coexistence was brought down to chaos that still hasn’t gone over.

Here’s one thing you can take back home from this history, and they say you learn your lessons from your past:

As long as we learn to accept each other with our differences, let each other be as long as no one interferes in your personal life or causes any harm to you and once again live a life with peaceful coexistence, we can prosper together as a nation much stronger, undivided, a home, an abode for weak and strong individuals as one like the good old days. But if we continue to fight like we are, we are going to go down like we have been since the time of British policy of divide and rule.

Let’s see how wise are you.

I hope you enjoyed this journey through the ancient Indian history.

Beginning Of The End – Chapter 1

His first date

He was in first semester and there was a girl in his class. Her name was Tisha. While Arif was more of an introvert, Tisha was just the opposite. She was bold, never giving up, ready to fight. However, just like other girls, she was in awe with Arif. And how can she not? After all, my boy was charming in every sense.

You know how​ college is! First semester kids are newbies so they are usually mix of shy, scared and inquisitive nature. Third semester boys think that they are the boss around because its their college after two semesters. And once they enter fifth semester, they are always in a rush to make sure they clear up their screw ups so they don’t end up in college for another year.

This was Arif’s fifth day in college and he was already popular amongst the girls, even the senior ones. Well that’s because on the first day, we had gone to his class for the “intro round” and he sang a song. Everyone was awestruck with his voice and the girls with us just couldn’t stop talking about him after that day.

That’s how I ended up knowing him. I love to sing as well, but in front of him, I was nothing more than a bathroom singer, though I believe I’m a good singer as well. I had won many competitions in inter-college competitions. I had approached him to be a part of our singing society of our college. I had hoped that one day, once I leave the college, he will be a good president for the singing society.

Coming back to his fifth day. There was some girl who was talking about Arif with her friends and her boyfriend got jealous. Arif had completed his lecture and was going to the cafeteria to have his meal when that boy and his friends gathered around him to bully him. Though Arif was not frightened for even a bit however, he was alone and they were a gang of eight boys.

Tisha and her friends were also on their way to cafeteria as well when she saw those boys ganging up on Arif. Being the bold girl that she was, she yelled at those boys from far. Loaded with all the abuses that we boys use most of the times, she charged on those boys while other girls got stunned.

Those boys couldn’t process what just happened. They thought some senior or professor saw them and they went running. I had just reached the spot with my girlfriend when those boys were running away. Tisha, still angry, was shouting on those boys. My girlfriend was quite happy to see such a volume in her voice as she was the head of street play society and she knew what a good volume is required for street plays. Yeah, we both found our gems just like that.

We approached them and Tisha and Arif (mostly Tisha to be honest) explained what had happened. Arif was still a bit shunned. Even though he stood his ground and did not run away like a poor little cat, yet, I could sense that something has happened because Arif’s face had gone pale as if someone said something which scared him a bit.

Next day, in the college, Arif realized he had not thanked Tisha for backing him last time. He went to her and asked her for a coffee date to thank her and Tisha gladly accepted it. I had thought that they will have a great time together. Well, what else would one expect if the guy is charming and a gentleman and the girl had been waiting for such an evening?

However, it was strange to see Arif and Tisha trying to avoid each other and I think I had seen Tisha crying alone as well. I couldn’t fathom what might have happened but I never dared to ask either for I didn’t want to interfere in their personal matter.

Beginning ​of The End – Introduction

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction however you may find yourself or someone you knew related to the story. This story is dedicated to all those untold stories that never found a voice.

I am Angad. I am a reporter. I come across several stories each day but today, I shiver as I begin to tell you this story. This story is about a friend of mine whose story may not mean anything to you but its important for you to know.

His name was Arif, a tall handsome boy with beautiful hazel eyes. His mother, Raziya was a doctor and his father, Mohammed Hassan was an architect. They were not the typical Muslim family that believed in orthodox. One can say, they were very liberal. But…

He was the only child to his parents, most beloved and pampered kid. He was special after all. Even after all that love and pampering, he was never like other rich brats. I had met him in college. He was my junior.

There was something about him that will make you like him but will also make you jealous. He was such a beautiful young boy with intelligent brains​ and amazing oration skills. He was polite, humble, helpful and a bit shy. He was, in short, every girl’s dream boy.

We became friends on the very first day of his college and in one year he became like a brother to me. In the free time, if you can’t ​find him anywhere, it meant​ he must be in the library. He used to love reading books. 

He was a great singer and girls of our college were head over heels for him. He had told me he never got a professional training in singing though he wanted to. Many boys were jealous of him because he was always surrounded​ by the girls.

… To be continued​.

Suicide awareness

Off late, there had been so many people who had been posting about suicide awareness, sharing that their doors are open for their friends, etc etc. Its really sweet of them to share it let people know that they are more than ​happy to lend a shoulder to cry on or an ear to hear out. However, here are some nasty truths about how it feels when you are being suicidal.

I got to admit, I have my days when I hit the rock bottom and feel like giving up on my life. I’m not proud of the things that I do to myself in those situations and I wish I could be like those who enjoy and laugh even​ in their toughest times. But I have different mind and different ways of reacting.

Many people, who know me, know that I go missing for days. Nowhere to be seen. A social butterfly suddenly becomes the rarest butterfly. Those are my days when I’m going through one or the other mental problem. What I do is hardly known to anyone.

This is how my general routine looks like:

I wake up, get ready, go to work, do my job, laugh along with colleagues, flirt with my crushes at work, come back home, have meal, smoke, sit in one corner of my room, keep checking every message but don’t reply, avoid meeting anyone, lay down, my tears keep falling, keep thinking about how terrible I am, not picking up anyone’s call. Apart from that, many things I do, which we all know are stupid. 

I try to do things that can make me focus on the physical pain instead of mental or emotional pain. I think of ways to end my life and then try not to do such things because I am living with bunch of strangers who should not be answering people about what or why did I do if I do something.

I do not feel like going out and meeting people. I’ll drink and smoke more than usual knowing that at least this is one poison that will kill me slowly. I become defensive towards my behavior by telling people that they know nothing so they shouldn’t tell me what should I do, if in case they figure out something’s wrong with me.

I try to distance myself from the people I love the most by picking up fights on random things just to make sure that they hate me enough so that if I die, they won’t cry. I try to cut my knots before I do anything to myself. 

Trust me, a person who has suicidal tendencies, are stubborn, stern and cold. They are rigid and know that their friends or anyone close to them will not like the idea that they want to die. They know how people will react. They know either people will back off and leave or else, they’ll try to sympathize or else they will try to reason with them why is it a bad idea.

That’s why, thank you for sharing your concern but I, in such a situation, knowing that your doors are open for me, will not come to you upfront to tell you, “Hey! I want to die.” Its not that easy. 

So, what you should do? Invite your friends randomly for drinks or dinner. Plan to meet your people and make sure you meet them and talk. That will help you to connect and understand if your friend is OK. Because no one will come to you directly when they are going through such s phase.

I wish…

I am 25 years old and I have seen so much in my life that I wish I had not. You must have heard “being gay is normal” several times but what no one tells you is, living life of a gay guy who does not fit in the boxes, in a world filled with homophobia, is not going to be a normal life.

Some times I don’t know if going through all the things that I have been through was worth it or not. But there are days when I convince myself that all of this would make sense one day. One day, all of this would be a just a nightmare. One day, someone will wake up and none of it will to be real for them.

When you have seen a trans person crying in the middle of the night after being sexually harassed, you would not like to trust in humanity. When you have sucked penis of a “straight guy” without consent, just to save a drunk girl from harassment, you won’t believe in straight people being straight.

When you have seen parents abandoning their children because of their sexuality, you would not like to trust on any relative. When you have seen friends turning against you, you would not be able to trust people easily. When you have seen your love moving on to a “better looking guy”, you would not like to believe in the concept of true love.

When you have seen the people of your community discriminating their own people, you would not like to believe that there is a community. When you have seen one community divided into several communities and you do not fit in those separated communities either, you would not like to accept anyone’s hand to accept you.

After seeing all of that, if you’ll see a few stories that are different from what you have seen personally, you can only feel happy for those people but those stories won’t bring back your faith. You will continue believing that those few stories are “exception”.

But the good side of all of that? You know what you don’t want for others. You learn to be humble and compassionate. But do you know what? It becomes more confusing because your experiences have made you heartless and yet you know how to spread love. You give love and respect to everyone as long as they deserve it, according to your ideas but you can’t accept the love from others.

I wish, when I wake up from this dream, this world will be a better and more accepting place. I wish…

Something stops me

Its been a long time that I have written something. I do apologize to all my readers. I was a bit too busy messing up my life. Today, I thought of writing but something is telling me don’t. Something is telling me, “What do you want to write about? Another painful story of how someone gave up on his life? Another sad story of how someone bled himself while the mosquitoes and flies bathed in his blood? People have had enough of those stories. Make up a fiction, give out a happy story to people to have hope, so that they can believe, so that they can love.”

Unfortunately, I can’t come up with a happy story today. I just can’t. For the first time, I’m going to publish this incomplete, small post because I want you all to know, I can’t do it. I’m sorry.

The Forgotten Reality

We are living in a funny world. People don’t really understand the meaning of love these days but they want to find happiness in the “feeling of love”. That’s the reason, these days when I see two people advertising their love, I can easily tell they are going to breakup soon.

I know I sound mean and negative but that’s my experience talking. I don’t mean to sound negative or rude but I have been there, done that. Love isn’t what people think it is these days, and by that I mean it isn’t as much about “oh he cares for me” as it is about “I can spend the rest of my life with this f*cker”.

Boys at the young ages, who are struggling between their books and their sexuality tend to be more vulnerable and feel left out. In such a situation, some guy would come and give them attention and they start feeling oh, this is the one. And the other guy starts thinking that this is the one for me.

First of all, to all the young boys in their teens, you guys need to focus on what’s important in your life. Your career, your education should hold priority. Enjoy your youth for it won’t last forever. Don’t give importance to relationships with some guy. You can spend time on that when you have earned a life of freedom.

You can’t step out of your house without answering hundreds of questions of your parents, you are certainly not ready for a boyfriend (unless its just a time pass). You have more important things in your life, find your goal and work on achieving it.

Now for the guys, who think that these young boys will be their boyfriend forever, these young boys are new birds. They are just learning to fly. Stop trying to bind them in the cage of love. That will only lead to the feeling of getting choked. You should rather encourage them to build up a great career and give them a freedom that they deserve.

Stop thinking that being in love means, “Did you eat something baby?” Or “What are you doing baby?” All the time. That’s not love. That’s just your attraction or infatuation that keeps you attracted to that person. And as a human, we love mysteries and puzzles, till they are solved.

Till the time, you both haven’t seen each other’s worst and still came out strong, you both aren’t in love. Till the time you both haven’t lived with each other enough to know each other’s smell, each other’s likes and dislikes, each other’s dirty habits, you guys haven’t loved each other.

The reason why these so called relationships don’t last long anymore is because we are caught up in our own problems that we start thinking that I’ve found the love of my life when someone gives us a comfort. However, that’s not how love works.

We need to understand, its easy to fall in love but difficult to be in love. If you have even the slightest doubt, its not love. Learn about each other enough to claim that you love each other. By shouting at the top of your voice, “oh I love him so much” does not prove your love.

I hope that one day, people will learn that love is not just bed of roses, rainbows and unicorns. Its about taking responsibilities, honesty, care, affection AND sex. Yes, sex is also an integral part of love or relationship. Every human, who is not a celibate or asexual, has desires, physical needs. If they don’t get fulfilled and the person forces to hide their desires for long, they tend to fulfill them secretly. Which leads to cheating and further complications.

Till the time we are not open to take the responsibilities that come along with the love, we should refrain ourselves from the false commitments. Understand love in true sense before you start crying about how much you love someone. Maybe that’ll save you from a heartbreak and false hopes.

Existence of this is what’s wrong…

Couple of years ago, a human started bothering the members of LGBT community with his anti LGBT campaign under the veil of anti AIDS campaign. He used to make multiple profiles with several fake names and his own name to pester all the LGBT groups and individuals in India. 

You probably would be waiting to know his name but I refrain myself from using his name. You’ll see his name in the screenshots that are about to follow.

He, once challenged the whole Delhi LGBT community that he’ll come to Delhi pride and take everyone’s blood test and prove that “Every person of LGBT community has STD”, which apparently never happened. (Is it too early to call him coward?) Eventually, everyone realised that he is nothing more than a “barking dog seldom bite” and his existence became irrelevant to everyone of us.

His argument was, LGBT community is the prime reason for the STDs. To no one’s surprise, he does not even understand that the new cases of STDs are getting reduced every year, as per UNAIDS reports.

A screenshot of the UNAIDS report where it shows there has been more than 50% reduction
Guess what? This reduction in new cases has been marked after the LGBT community started getting recognized in the country. But no, this human from Punjab who used to mention “microbiologist” in his facebook profile does not understand that the way to prevent the increase in STD cases is to promote safe sex amongst LGBT community instead of pushing them back into the closet.

After couple of years, few days back, he challenged me that he will soon publish some book that will send the LGBT community back into the closet. He accepted the challenge saying, if he fails, he’ll make a video of him having sex with another man and he will become my slave.

He told me, he has been making his contacts and getting strong political support in order to send the LGBT community back into closet. Now from being a microbiologist, he became manifesto writer for BJP Punjab, a political party that believes in Hindu ideals (or so as I believe). I guess that’s what he meant to say.

But guess what? He is much more than just microbiologist and manifesto writer. He also found “hallucinative way of communicating”. Well hello there Einstein. (I don’t even know what does hallucinative way of communicating means.) Oh and by the way, if you guys were wondering whose forgiveness are we, LGBT community, seeking? It was of this guy. Unfortunately, luck is not in our favor. Sigh.

 Now, you guys might be wondering why am I so bothered about him? Its not like he can do anything really (which I completely agree to). However, the reason why I’m taking the time out to write this down is because the way he is behaving with my friends, specially girls.

He sent me a message after almost a year which I shared on my facebook wall. Here’s what he had sent:

Glory be to the demon whores, gays and gay world, 
You bloody dickhea*s, demon suc*ers, you poor souls,

There should have been hard punishment for pyscho sick people like you, harrish iyer, niladri chatterje, aditya bandopdyaa, you all people are gay demons, history can forgive , but not harit, the way u transforming and perverting innocents, will be the chief cause of your own deaths, you and your community , both are going to enter into the sea of fatal diseases, you people are voluptuous of highest order, you need nothing but hard sticks on your butts, your ass should be beaten 377 times, to teach you the lesson of Health and healthy behaviors, you people are going to change the foundation of society, i am going to gear up against you via my book on homosexuality and its consequences, see yourself after my book, you and bloody dauchebags, so called l,g,b,t would be on their knees 
Do away with homosexuality

A friend of mine, a girl had commented:

MORON SPOTTED. 😆 And yes, We ain’t douchebags. He is. But guess what, he doesn’t know the spelling himself.

And she shared a screenshot:

Now the word bastard, in an informal use, means an unpleasant or despicable person. However, that human took it as person born to unmarried parents. He went to her profile and sent her this, which she later sent me:

A human, who first sends abusive message, expects others to praise him I guess? That seems to be the only reason why he couldn’t see a girl calling him a bastard. What makes me write this blog is, he claims to write manifesto of BJP in Punjab for 2017.

I leave it to you all to decide what kind of people are working for our government and should these people, who abuse others, man or woman, be allowed anywhere near to the government bodies?

By the way, did I mention that he thinks V B Hariharan is Modi himself?

You have seen his name and you know how he behaves. Now rest is up to you, what you think. Share this, if you think that this man should learn to behave.

UPDATE: I sent emails to CPR India and Researcher India regarding his behavior and I’m waiting for their response.

However, when I told that guy about my email sent to the organisations he is associated with, this was his response.

Honestly, I don’t know how someone who abuses others first, expects people to give him respect and not abuse him on their friend’s facebook status and I really don’t know if he is actually associated to those organisations or is he still a preschool kid. 

I’ll update as and when there’s any development.

Why do I love you – story

He was sitting in the balcony of his flat on the 15th floor in a lush green locality with the moonlight reflecting through the water of the sea in a distance on a starry night. The coffee on the table had gone cold and the ash tray was filled with ashes and cigarette butts. 

He was still smoking the Marlboro lights, his favorite brand, when someone came and sat next to him. “You know its not good. You have already smoked 7 in last 2 hours. Don’t do this to yourself.”, that person said.

“Did it hurt you as well?”, the only question he thought of asking.

“You know I’ll speak what you think. I’m just a figment of your thoughts. So, yes. Letting you go was hard for me as well. I loved you. I still do. But you remember my last words? I asked you if you want to be with me. But you were too scared. I know you have never been loved completely and that’s why you were scared. We are all scared of something new. But your walls were too high. I tried my best to break down your walls.”

“Did you ever feel that I don’t love you? Was ‘I love you’ the only thing that could have told you how much I love you?”

“No, but I wanted to hear it from you. I tried to enter inside those walls and be with you but you kept pulling yourself away.”

“You know, I’m glad that you found someone who allowed you in after you left me. I wish I could just forget that I still love you.”

A voice interrupted from behind, “You see, that’s why I told you that your love has no value.”

He knew this voice. His head lowered and the tears drizzled over his black T-shirt which knew how to absorb and hide it from everyone else. That was one of the reasons why black was his favorite color.

The person sitting next to him vanished in thin air and the voice from behind continued. “You fall in love with people and you still love them. How could you do this? Did I not mean anything to you?”

He replied, “I wish I could show you what you mean to me. Everything I did for you was because I love you.”

“Hahahahaha. You just said I love you to him and now you’re saying you love me? You prove that love is just a word for you. Your ex at least knows the value of that word and I’m happy that I found a guy like him. At least, he does not go around saying I love you to everyone.”

“I’m glad. I can’t stop loving either of you.”

Another voice took over, “That’s why I was scared to be with you. I knew you will never be mine completely. You still love them and you being polyamorous, I felt insecure. I wish it was not this way. I had to find someone who can love me and take me out of my darkness. I don’t know if I will ever be able to love again but the least I can do is keep that person happy who loves me and me alone.”

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the perfect lover. How I wish!”

Another person came and sat on his knees in front of him to hold his trembling hand and said, “You know I’m always going to be there for you. I am insecure as well to know that you may love someone else someday. But I’m not going to leave you.”

“I know you love me but you’ll leave as well once you’ll find someone to love you only.”

“You are just too scared and I hope one day, this will change.”, with those words, that person stood up and disappeared. 

Another person came from behind and caressed his hair. “Dave, you’re a beautiful person but you carry darkness within you. I loved you but I have my own darkness. We both need someone to take us to light. Your darkness would have added to mine. That’s why I had to ask you to leave. I’m sorry that I made you build your walls so high.”

“Its done. You already got someone I love. I hope you find the light. This is my life now. This is my darkness.”

“For the first time, I don’t know why, but your words have hurt me. But I know, this too shall pass.”

The caressing stopped and another figure appeared, standing near the railing of the balcony. “I admire you. You are like an inspiration for me. You make me believe that one day everything will be fine. How can you think of being with someone who is your inspiration?”

“You don’t have to justify yourself. I will learn to stop falling in love.”

All the voices came together now, “If that’s what you want, let us help you build your walls higher than before.”

That night, he went off to sleep only to wake up as an amorophobic person. His walls, higher than before. His emotions locked down in a dark corner. Maybe someday, someone will walk in, to try and bring him to light but who knows, if that will be another evil play or a real love.

I hope you liked it 🙂