Tag Archives: body positivity

The one I always Harass

OK! I know the title sounds like I am some criminal but let me assure you, it’s not what it looks like. This post is about someone who never gives up on me and how, from a college junior, he became an unsung savior of my life.

Meet my skinny skeletal savior, Saif Haider aka Saifuddin Siddiquie, as I named him. (OK I’m NOT body shaming him. I’m skinny too. Also, my auto correct keeps changing his last name to “Harder”. I wonder why…)

Now, look at that face and tell me if he isn’t cute AF. (A little secret: it’s just filters).

We met in my college. He was a newbie and I was in the third semester of my college if I’m not mistaken. You know how the college seniors are. They get fresh meat every year till they pass out (I don’t mean drunk and how) and they pick random kids and take their intro rounds.

This one was our special pick, timid, skinny and bossy amongst all the newbies. Well, I later realized that he wasn’t being bossy. Rather everyone loves him almost immediately after meeting him.

He’s helping, kind, charming and stupid too. I loved him for being stupid. I always love twinks who are little stupid. But then he was from the same subject as mine, which was computer science. Girls and gurls, if you don’t know what does that mean, let me tell you. All you need to know is, a person in that course usually has an analytical mind, unless they are just a victim of what parents asked them to do. So that makes him a stupid intelligent person… Is that oxymoron? Is that even possible? I don’t know.

Whether it’s possible or not, I liked this guy from the very first day. Eventually, I got to know, he’s from “My Hometown” *singing in Adele’s voice*. (Did you guys do that too? I’m sure you did if you know the song.) That became a thing. Me, Ameekar (I don’t know if you guys have been following me everywhere but you must know, that’s one of my BFF and my family as well), his younger brother Nishikar and Said. The four of us from the same ancestral place. We bonded over that and our course and eventually became very close friends.

Before he entered the college, my college knew about my sexuality. With Saif I don’t think I ever had to come out to him (Saif correct me if I’m wrong). He knew and he never said anything offensive or against me. Rather he loved me, like a family.

You know how life sometimes plays a game so that you can weed out the unwanted toxins from your friend/social circle? Something similar happened to me back then. I didn’t have a home or anything. This boy gave me a shelter and would come every once in a while to check back on me. He took care of me when there was no one and he still does.

He’ll do everything to make things work and sort out EVERY possible things that he can and will go beyond. I never understood why but I at least know there are people like him, maybe only a few but someone you can always count on. I have been such an awful friend to everyone all my life and I swear to God, it’s not even funny. I never call anyone, I don’t remember to text people for months. But this boy always gets back to me.

I think, I’ve always contacted him whenever I was in a need of something and he always gets it done, unless it’s beyond his control as well. I come across as such a mean person who just talks to people when he needs help but then as a child, we were trained to use the phone only when there’s an emergency so that you reach out to people. I guess, every since childhood, I never liked having a conversation over the phone.

I know many people who have a complaint regarding this attitude and there are people who actually won’t be bothered now if I call them. But this boy, he never complained about it. Rather, he is exactly how he was 3 years ago.

I have slapped him (non violent slaps/friendly slaps) so many times. I beat him every time I meet him. That’s how I express my love to someone I dearly care about. If I can be comfortable enough to physically hit you, it means I know you belong to me and I will always love you and care for you. It’s weird I know. Shut up.

I really don’t know what good have I done to deserve this person in my life, but this boy has been a savior and he proves that you don’t have to have a pumped up body to save someone and you don’t need to have everything to be there for the ones you love.

PS He’s not gay. All you perverts, back off. He’s mine.

Revolution through Clothing

I have heard people talking about revolutions. How does revolution start? And does a revolution help at all? Let’s go back in history classes, shall we? (I know many of “desh bhakts” are going to be furious after reading this, but we are talking revolution, so who cares?)

Before we step into history, let’s understand what is revolution all about. Revolution is about creating a movement in the society that pushes the society to the extent that their usual ideologies are challenged and eventually changed.

Why do we need revolutions? You see, the society that we live in, it ain’t perfect, like everything else. But should we stop ourselves from trying to achieve that perfection? The answer is, no. This is something that, I assume, most of us would agree to.

If a person wants to be a singer, they have practice to improve their vocals. If a person wants to be an actor, they have to practice to improve their acting skills. This all, is on individual level, where we push our limits to achieve perfection, even though we know perfection cannot be achieved. There will always be a room for improvement or betterment.

You see, on an individual level, we all try to improve ourselves to become better and better. But when it comes to society, that individual efforts aren’t enough. That effort will improve you, sure. But is that the need of the society? No. Society as a whole, needs different changes to improve.

Now, let’s stop into history. Back in history, India used to have a tradition where widows were forced to burn alive with their dead husband. Some people felt that it wasn’t right. However, they didn’t say anything because they felt, it’s a common thing, it’s a tradition, it’s culture. We shouldn’t argue or question it. They, on an individual level, knew in their hearts that this tradition is wrong, but they didn’t want to challenge it.

Then, someone created a revolution, fought against this tradition and today, we don’t have that tradition anymore. So you see, the tradition or the norms that we follow, we may or may not realize that it is harmful for some section of the society, however it is better if we get rid of that tradition or norm. In order to bring that change, a revolution has to start.

Now who would do that? Since it’s about society, shouldn’t it be started by a bunch of people with the same mindset? Of course, but that’s not how it’s going to start, EVER. Let me tell you why. We are lazy a**holes (excuse me for my language but that’s truth). We love everything served to us in a platter. Most of us don’t want to step in the kitchen to prepare that platter for ourselves.

That’s exactly what happens when it comes to revolution. Everyone would say, I’m hungry (for a change) but I can’t go in the kitchen to cook (or start a revolution). Amongst all these hungry lazy people, one has to step up and do something to start the change. When someone takes an initiative, the people who were waiting for it will join in.

So you see, even to change the society, one individual is enough. The revolution will begin. People will join in. Imagine, if Mr. Gandhi wouldn’t have initiated Dandi March, probably salt would have been controlled by British rule throughout, even though it was all ours. (Yes, I admire a few things that Mr. Gandhi did in his lifetime. I may not agree with all his ideologies though.) [P.S. This is the part for which I’m expecting a lot of desh bhakths are going to be angry on me. Moving on.]

Now, one of the things that many people do not realize or acknowledge is how clothing has created so many revolutions. There was a time, when India used to follow traditional clothes. They were marvelous and mesmerizing. They still are. However, there were some clothing items which were more practical and easy to be in but the society was not ready to accept it.

Some women and men decided to break the norms in terms of clothing and things changed. What was weird once, it became a norm later. But have we reached perfection yet? Let’s remember, there’s always a room for improvement.

Today, clothes are become gender specific. You have to be of a particular gender (out of the two only) to wear certain kind of clothes. But then, now that we know LGBTQ community exist (for some reason) we need to understand that there are people who may not fit into the idea of gender binaries.

I understand that there are some clothing items that are designed according to the anatomy of human bodies but then, to be very honest, there are various ways to work that part out. So, today if I buy a gown for myself and if I can carry it gracefully, I don’t see why anyone who has not paid my bills, should question my choices.

The reason why I chose to write this today is because I have a pair of amazing comfortable 4 inches heels. I was wearing them while I was going through a public metro. I noticed a few people taking my picture, trying to be all secretive and discreet but you can see where the camera was pointing and how was the phone held.

It was a weird and strange sight for them today but with that they will go back with the sense, “Oh so that’s also in fashion these days.” They may not like anyone doing that in their family, I guess, but they will not be as startled as they were today when they see it next. The reason why I’m sharing this is because, you should know, we all, at our levels can bring a revolution that will take the society to a better path. Just know whatever revolution you try to bring, it should not bring chaos or it should not harm others. Rather it should bring acceptance to the vivid spectrum of individuality.

With that, I would like you all to meet Roshini Kumar, an amazing photographer who has taken an initiative to bring a revolution through her magazine called Revolution Magazine.

Her magazine is going to bring out the uncensored and unapologetic images of real people so that the weird for the world, once again becomes normal and people will once again find acceptance in this world.

Roshini, through her magazine has recently unveiled her first shoot for the magazine that shows three amazing drag queens, Little Mickey, Veronique and Divine Scarlett (that’s my drag name if you guys have read in my previous post). I am not going to share the images here because I want you guys to take an initiative and click on the links to find these WONDERFUL images. Trust me, they are worth it and you should go and follow them.

With that, I’m signing off now. I hope to see you guys on the other side of THIS revolution, if not on the journey with us.