Tag Archives: feelings

Why do I love you – story

He was sitting in the balcony of his flat on the 15th floor in a lush green locality with the moonlight reflecting through the water of the sea in a distance on a starry night. The coffee on the table had gone cold and the ash tray was filled with ashes and cigarette butts. 

He was still smoking the Marlboro lights, his favorite brand, when someone came and sat next to him. “You know its not good. You have already smoked 7 in last 2 hours. Don’t do this to yourself.”, that person said.

“Did it hurt you as well?”, the only question he thought of asking.

“You know I’ll speak what you think. I’m just a figment of your thoughts. So, yes. Letting you go was hard for me as well. I loved you. I still do. But you remember my last words? I asked you if you want to be with me. But you were too scared. I know you have never been loved completely and that’s why you were scared. We are all scared of something new. But your walls were too high. I tried my best to break down your walls.”

“Did you ever feel that I don’t love you? Was ‘I love you’ the only thing that could have told you how much I love you?”

“No, but I wanted to hear it from you. I tried to enter inside those walls and be with you but you kept pulling yourself away.”

“You know, I’m glad that you found someone who allowed you in after you left me. I wish I could just forget that I still love you.”

A voice interrupted from behind, “You see, that’s why I told you that your love has no value.”

He knew this voice. His head lowered and the tears drizzled over his black T-shirt which knew how to absorb and hide it from everyone else. That was one of the reasons why black was his favorite color.

The person sitting next to him vanished in thin air and the voice from behind continued. “You fall in love with people and you still love them. How could you do this? Did I not mean anything to you?”

He replied, “I wish I could show you what you mean to me. Everything I did for you was because I love you.”

“Hahahahaha. You just said I love you to him and now you’re saying you love me? You prove that love is just a word for you. Your ex at least knows the value of that word and I’m happy that I found a guy like him. At least, he does not go around saying I love you to everyone.”

“I’m glad. I can’t stop loving either of you.”

Another voice took over, “That’s why I was scared to be with you. I knew you will never be mine completely. You still love them and you being polyamorous, I felt insecure. I wish it was not this way. I had to find someone who can love me and take me out of my darkness. I don’t know if I will ever be able to love again but the least I can do is keep that person happy who loves me and me alone.”

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the perfect lover. How I wish!”

Another person came and sat on his knees in front of him to hold his trembling hand and said, “You know I’m always going to be there for you. I am insecure as well to know that you may love someone else someday. But I’m not going to leave you.”

“I know you love me but you’ll leave as well once you’ll find someone to love you only.”

“You are just too scared and I hope one day, this will change.”, with those words, that person stood up and disappeared. 

Another person came from behind and caressed his hair. “Dave, you’re a beautiful person but you carry darkness within you. I loved you but I have my own darkness. We both need someone to take us to light. Your darkness would have added to mine. That’s why I had to ask you to leave. I’m sorry that I made you build your walls so high.”

“Its done. You already got someone I love. I hope you find the light. This is my life now. This is my darkness.”

“For the first time, I don’t know why, but your words have hurt me. But I know, this too shall pass.”

The caressing stopped and another figure appeared, standing near the railing of the balcony. “I admire you. You are like an inspiration for me. You make me believe that one day everything will be fine. How can you think of being with someone who is your inspiration?”

“You don’t have to justify yourself. I will learn to stop falling in love.”

All the voices came together now, “If that’s what you want, let us help you build your walls higher than before.”

That night, he went off to sleep only to wake up as an amorophobic person. His walls, higher than before. His emotions locked down in a dark corner. Maybe someday, someone will walk in, to try and bring him to light but who knows, if that will be another evil play or a real love.

I hope you liked it 🙂

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An open letter to our Prime Minister

To

Mr. Narendra Modi,

I am DivyaRoop, a citizen of India. I was born in Ranchi, Jharkhand. My parents are not rich people so I don’t have ways to reach you. Hence, I am writing this to you to seek the answers to the questions that haunt me day in and day out. Continue reading An open letter to our Prime Minister

I am free

We all live our lives. And the truth is, we all want to live happily. No one wants to live a life where you do not have the freedom to be who you really are.

I know many will feel outraged after reading my next few lines. So if you do, my humble apologies. It’s just an example. Continue reading I am free

Love

Love is a beautiful emotion that makes you go blah blah blah…

Let’s face it. Its just another emotion that a person may or may not experience. Love is not something special. For every person, love may mean something different. For some, its a feeling that brings heart breaks in the end. For some, it maybe the beds of roses and unicorns and rainbows.

Continue reading Love

Come back

“Isn’t it hurting you as well? Can’t you feel the pain? You know how much I need you. Look into my eyes and tell me you don’t. You cannot look into my eyes. You are looking away. Just once, look into my eyes and tell me you don’t love me. Stop. Don’t leave me. Continue reading Come back

Its a wonderful life

What will you consider a wonderful life? A life where you own your dream car, a penthouse, with swimming pool in your lawn, money flowing in without doing much task and house filled with paintings of artists from all over the walls, designer clothes, top brands, iMac, a separate room for partying, a separate room for gaming on your xbox on a huge plasma/LED TV? Continue reading Its a wonderful life

Last Tears

Is it worth crying? What will you get? Any solution? No. No, it never solved anything. Yet you cry; cry your heart out. It helps your heart feel less burdened. You see things. You see them clearly. You see where you are. You notice. You notice every details. You notice the unseen. You see beyond what your eyes can see. Continue reading Last Tears