Tag Archives: friendship

In Love With A Straight Boy

I remember the first time he sent me friend’s request on Facebook. He was mutual friend of my college friend because they stayed in same locality. But his reason to send me request was not because he saw me as a mutual friend with someone he knew, like most of the kids do, but because he had seen me at Delhi Comic Con participating in cosplay.

My first question to him was, do you have any of our pics together? I was looking out for my pictures in the cosplay, I’m sorry. To my disappointment, he did not take any picture with me (I hate you for that BTW. I’m going to make you read this and you will know this is for you assh*le).

Anyway, I still let him be in my friends list even after such a disappointment. I’m such a kind person you see. Just kidding. I liked him actually because he was such a cute kid. Completely stupid, but cute. Plus point was, he has DOGS. And who does not love dogs and cute dog lovers? 

We never met after that. We exchanged numbers. Started talking over WhatsApp, which was on and off (mostly off because that b*tch is too pricy. *Insert a straight face emoticon here*). However, he was too cute to resist flirting with him and he knew my sexuality because… Well I’m like the rainbow unicorn farting rainbow gas and shitting rainbow all over my Facebook.

He was unlike many of those macho men who get offended or react to a man flirting with them. He knew my appreciation towards him was and is genuine. He started talking to me more comfortably. He would come to me with most silly questions.

He would come and tell me about his hookups with girls and ask me about his silly notions about STDs and sex and even about his concerns related to his genitals. He trusted me and he still does. He’ll cry alone and not tell anyone but he will talk to me. I’ll try to comfort him. 

In knowing that he trusts me and knowing that he does love me, I fell in love with him. I know we can’t be together and I do not wish to cause him any trouble for my happiness. But there is a love that we share which is between us despite of our sexualities. This love is beyond sexual desires, beyond brotherly love, beyond friendly love.

He knows that I want to cuddle with him, play with his hair throughout the night, hold him to sleep, protect and fight for him with anyone and anything and he loves me because he knows that my love for him is not going to change. He knows he can count on me and in return, I know, even though he hardly replies or shows his face, he is the one person I can count on for the love that is eternal.

Having said that, I know it in my head that he won’t be mine, so I know I’ll love him till the end but I can’t hold on to him. I know there’s someone out there who will be mine and I will not love him any less however, the reason why I wanted to write about my straight love is because people should know, sexuality may define what we like sexually but it still does not warrant the love you feel for someone.

People should know that love and sex are not necessarily mutual to each other. Yes, the best is when both are combined together but you can still find happiness with the two existing separately.

On that note, I’ll put this to rest and share the link with that boy on WhatsApp​ now. Thanks for reading. Do share your feedbacks. ❤

Advertisements

My BFF, My family

I know I am a bit late to wish you and I am sorry. My sweetest, dearest, most idiot love of all times, Ameekar, my bff, you have proved, time and again what does it mean to be best friends forever.

We have held each other up during our bad times. We were broken ourselves but won’t allow each other to break down by holding ourselves up. You never gave up on me and you always count on me. Nothing can take you away from me.

I don’t know what relationship do we share because bff is also a very small term for the love and relation we share at our hearts, and you know it. You are more than just a friend, you are more than a brother, you are more than bff.

You gave me shelter when I was homeless, you stood by me when I was broken. I don’t know how you did it and why you did it. How did we become so close is still a mystery to me. I still don’t remember how did we become so close from being a stranger to caring for each other more than others. Remind me if you can remember?

But the main point is, I know I will never be alone as long as I have you in life. I will always have a cry baby who will keep coming back to me and I will always keep coming back to you. I’m sorry that we are far apart and I miss you everyday still I can’t move back and I keep failing in keeping my promise of visiting soon but trust me, if it would have been so easy, I would have given up everything to be with you.

I know you trust me, so just trust me on this. I have reasons that I can’t explain but I am always there. You know I love you more than anything. You know a piece of my heart lives in you. I love you. 

You are my cute, sexy, sassy, hottie chooda and I love you to the end of the universe and back and then 4 times the same trip or even more. Happy birthday (belated) my love. I know you will make it big.

Happy birthday my love, my bestie…

My dear self obssessed b*tch, aka Sahil!

Your birthday is coming up and I do not know what can I give you that will last forever. So here is my letter to you which I am posting publicly for everyone to know that people like you exist and they should know how lucky I am to have someone like you in my life. Continue reading Happy birthday my love, my bestie…

A book now closed

Once there was a guy. He was an open book. His emotions, his feelings, his thoughts, his point of views, everything was as it was in the heart. He never hesitated in sharing any kind of emotion, whether it was happiness or sadness, regardless of who the person is, whether a close friend or a newly made friend. The only thing you needed to do was to ask. Continue reading A book now closed

I am happy

I don’t know why or how or when or who did this to me. I don’t know if this will last forever or will this even stay for a few days. You know what? I don’t really care for future. I don’t really want to think about it. I just know that I got a smile after a long time on my face. It came to me out of of contentment, out of satisfaction that I will do something and make my life better in any which way. Continue reading I am happy

Its a wonderful life

What will you consider a wonderful life? A life where you own your dream car, a penthouse, with swimming pool in your lawn, money flowing in without doing much task and house filled with paintings of artists from all over the walls, designer clothes, top brands, iMac, a separate room for partying, a separate room for gaming on your xbox on a huge plasma/LED TV? Continue reading Its a wonderful life