Tag Archives: homosexuality

Drag – Opinion

Disclaimer: “These are my personal views and has nothing to do with what others think or feel about drag. It maybe different for different people.”

In the recent turn of events, India is seeing a surge in the number of drag queens emerging from the corners of the country, looking fabulous AF while coming out of the closet, after carefully picking their wardrobe to slay them all. But what is Drag? This comes as an important question because not knowing what drag is all about is a disaster in every possible way. You HAVE to know what is it all about.

A lot of people come to me and ask me if I’m a transgender or if I’m a cross dresser or if I do this for dhandha (for those who don’t know, it means if you do it for sex work). Every time I hear that, I feel like ugh I don’t have enough energy to deal with you RN.

Let me answer everything that you should know and what I feel. Drag queens are women impersonators. For a woman to transform from tired sleepy looking girl to fresh, glamorous girl, makeup works great but you need to know the art to make that happen. However, to transform a man into a woman, now that’s some big task. You can’t just slap on some foundation and lashes, apply some liner and contouring and say I’m impersonating a woman. No. Like N.O.

It’s a long process and it needs a fine understanding of women’s body structure, feminine behavior, makeup skills, clothing, etc. But, is that it? Is that all what drag is about? Isn’t that like cross dressing? The answer is, no. Drag isn’t just impersonating women.

Drag is always over the top. It’s loud, it’s bold, it’s unchained freedom. It probably will make you feel uncomfortable because we are programmed from childhood that women are supposed to be like this, they should dress like that, they should do this etc. Drag queens break those norms, they impersonate the women and make them exactly opposite to what society thinks an ideal woman should be like.

Drag queens can bring the women from your sexual fantasy to reality or sometimes from your darkest fear too. They can be like a real woman or like an ET woman but a woman nonetheless.

But why to sexualize womanhood? Isn’t that like anti feminist? That’s your limits thought process. Drag queens sexualize the womanhood at times but that’s to make the human race uncomfortable. So much so that eventually it becomes a regular thing and teach the humans that even if a woman is dressed in a certain way that makes you sexually attracted to her, it doesn’t mean she is dressed that way for you to rape her without her consent. Her choice of clothing is because she wanted to and not for you. Let’s say, even if she’s dressed to pick up a guy at the bar, that does not mean it’s for any random guy. THAT, my dear friend, is true feminism where a woman is not tagged as a slut for having a consent in picking up her sexual partner.

So you see, Drag is not just about impersonating a woman but also to fight for the rights of women. But then isn’t that a Gay thing? So instead of bringing out a message for your own community, why women? First, because we care for the women in this world. Second, it’s not just for women’s rights only. It does fight for the LGBT community. Drag is inclusive of everyone. I have a straight friend who is cis male and attracted to women and he loves to do Drag. Straight cis gender female like Lady Gaga and transgender woman like Peppermint love to do Drag.

As I said, it’s an art. An art to transform yourself into someone else. Live a life of a true free queen. Free from the inhibitions that society has put on you. Express your deep desires that you could never express as your real self through a character or a creature that you embody as a Drag.

How do we express? Just by putting on the clothes and makeup on? No. This is another aspect of Drag Queens. We are performers. We express ourselves through performances. It could be dance, song, act, poetry, stand up comedy, etc.

And for many queens, Drag is a therapy (I’m quoting this from RuPaul’s Drag Race season 9, but it’s true). I’ll give my example, I won’t speak for others. A few days ago, my depression was taking over and it was consuming me. I still haven’t got out of it completely. My depression had hit so low that I was ready to give up on my life. Many of you who have been following me, I know you have seen me as this strong person who fights back from all the adversities and you couldn’t imagine me giving up on my life, but it’s true.

Lately, everything was going wrong in my life and I didn’t feel like taking it anymore. I didn’t want to live. But then my friend suggested me to try Drag. I have always loved makeup and I have fought through everything like a Queen. Maybe I could use that skill and bring out that Queen to everyone.

I had nothing else to hold on to so I decided I will give it a try. Also because somewhere inside my heart, I wanted to vent out in front of real people and not just online.

Divya Roop is already a name which a lot of people look up to as this strong warrior who would fight and rise against above every struggle. I couldn’t afford to take away that hope from my friends around the world. I tried and it was always a disaster. I had reached to the conclusion that I cannot show this world my vulnerabilities.

I had stopped talking about what was bothering me or what was killing me internally. My friends had to poke me for weeks or months even to get things out of my heart and gradually that also stopped because I learnt to wear a smile to hide my emotions and thoughts.

I knew in my heart that I’m almost at the verge of taking a step forward to my final fall. So when my friend asked me to try Drag, I immediately found a way to let it all out. In front of the world, it will be my alter ego who can be vulnerable and broken and not Divya even though behind that mask, it will still be me letting it all out.

For this world, I’m still that fighter who has yet again found a way to fight it back. On that note, I would like to introduce you all to my alter ego, Divine Scarlet.

Divine is very new but very ambitious. I hope you all would love her and pray for her to achieve everything she hopes to find in her life.

And I hope this was insightful and I hope that the drag queens in India would one day SHOOK the world. I hope you guys like it and share it with your friends if you feel they should know and learn about this growing lifestyle.

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Why are you gay? – Vlog

I come across a lot of people, homophobic or otherwise, who do not understand homosexuality. They come up with their own reasons behind how a person becomes gay. Maybe in order to calm down their curiosity and feel intelligent about themselves? I don’t know.

Here’s a vlog about some of the reasons I’ve come across. Its a sarcasm on those reasons and I hope people will understand that there is no specific reason of someone’s sexuality. Its there just like heterosexuality is there. You don’t have to justify a reason behind homosexuality. The only reason behind homosexuality is exactly similar to the reason why people become heterosexual, just that the opposite sex is replaced by same sex.

I hope you enjoy the video.

How I stopped getting offended by abuses

Disclaimer: this post contains abusive words, not to offend anyone. If you don’t like to read abusive words STOP here and don’t read further.

There was a time abuses used to offend me but the more I learnt the meanings, I stopped getting offended by the words. The more I stopped getting affected by the abuses, the more I was able to offend the abusers. Continue reading How I stopped getting offended by abuses

I Need Answers

Today, I went to attend an GLBT event near my home. The venue was five minutes away, like you walk down the lane and its there. Near that venue, there’s a lane with chawls (lane of poor houses).

It was a beautiful day. I was wearing a vest and my leggings for the event. I attended one event and in the break, I went with my friend to get cigarettes. The only cigarette shop closer was in that chawl lane.

It was middle of the day. On my way back, a drunk guy from the chawls bumped into me with wrong intentions and he touched my penis. Because of my natural instincts, I slapped that guy. What would have you done my dear people of government?

Next thing I know is, bunch of guys were pulling my hair, kicking me on my balls, punching me on my nose, face, hitting me with the stool, bamboo sticks. My clothes were torn in the middle of the road.

I was sexually abused and thrashed. I was called hijra, chhakka (a derogatory term for hijras) and what not. I have scars all over my body and I’m internally injured.

My friend ran to bring others from the venue. By that time, there was only one girl from chawl and a guy who took me away. When the people from the venue came, they took me away. I wished them dead. I wished them to suffer their whole life.

What else I could have done? Gone to doctor where they would have asked me to lodge police complain. Police would have taken them to prison, keep them there for a day and then leave them. These guys have been going to jail very often and they do not really care about that (as tools by that girl).

What is judiciary doing for us? Leaving the people in a day who sexually abuse and thrash another guy for being who he wants to be but putting the people behind jail for lifetime with no release, if that person has consensual sex with another person of same sex (technically, that’s what law is about).

Is this fair? What’s my fault? I was dressed slutty? Is it not rape that my clothes were torn in the middle of the road? What’s the difference between a girl’s clothes getting torn and man’s clothes getting torn? Just that men do not have breast?

Till when government or society will be hell bent on telling us that what we have suffered is our fault? What is it that the government doing to ensure security to everyone? Still so many women are raped, molested and abused but what do we do?

I did not go to lodge a complain because my house is nearby. I am living on a rent and those people will get released next day and they will make my as well as my landlady’s life hell. I will keep shut because judiciary CANNOT ensure the security of my life or others’ lives. Their duty is to file a complain for your heart’s satisfaction, put them in prison so that you feel better and then leave them.

In short, its better to keep your mouth shut than to speak up. That’s what you all have taught us and implemented all the time. Till when? A girl got raped and killed, people protested, lit candlelight for her, rapists got punishment because it for hyped and everything is over. Women are still getting raped.

Sexual harassment against women are still going unreported forget about men. In India, men do not get raped according to people. Its not about me right now, or nirbhaya (the Delhi rape case), its about everyone.

Till when we need to live in this dangal raj? What strict actions have been ensure in such cases? A woman’s rape case gets the hype by the media, how many guys like me have suffered and have been suffering. What justice can we expect?

Forget justice, once it is done, people forget. What examples have we set? What security do we have? Keep your sympathies with yourself, for I have been bruised today, tomorrow I will put on my makeup and hide all my scars. I’ll sing and dance and leave this behind me.

If you really empathize, spread it. Don’t stop till we have solution. Let the words reach out to the judiciary, to the law enforcement team, to the government.

If you don’t give a damn, continue with your life till you or someone in your family has to suffer the same. And if that’s what it takes for you to open your eyes and speak up, then I pray you suffer the same fate.

चल तुझे नया जाहाँ दिखाऊँ

सुना है तितली के पँखों से
दूर कहीं तूफान उठा
सोचता हूँ कि मैं भी अपने
बंधन तोड़ कर पँख फैलाऊँ।

तुम्हारी अनकही बातों ने भी
बरबस ही मुझे रुलाया है
क्यों न तुम्हारी खामोशी में मैं
अपने पँखों से तूफान ले आऊँ।

बहुत कोशिशें की है तुमने
मेरा वजूद मिटाने की
आज इस तूफान से तेरे
घमण्ड का मैं वजूद मिटाऊँ।

आज मुझे ये इल्म हुआ है
बेमतलब है तेरा डरना मुझसे।
किताबों के उन पन्नों से आ
तुझको भी मैं रिहा कराऊँ।

भूल जा बस कुछ पल को
लिखा था जो उन किताबों में
चल तुझको मैं खुशियों के
नए नए कुछ रंग दिखाऊँ।

रोता होगा खुदा वो बैठा
देख के तेरी नफ़रत को
दिए हैं तुझको ज़ख्म जो उसने
चल उन पर भी मैं मलहम लगाऊँ।

रब मेरा वो देख रहा है
किसमें कितना बैर बसा
काट ले मेरे पँख भी ज़ालिम
फिर भी मैं अब रुक न पाऊँ।

गर खुदा की कदर है तुझको
छोड़ दे झूठी नफरत को
हाथ थाम, मैं खुशियों का
चल तुझे नया जाहाँ दिखाऊँ।

Eyes on me

Today, I was going for choir practice (yes I’m a part of India’s first gay choir group, Rainbow voices). On my way, while I was in an auto rickshaw, another one was driving just next to us. Busy on my phone, I didn’t notice what was happening. When all of a sudden my driver shouted, “Marad hai. Mud mud k dekhne ki zaroorat nahi. Agey badh.” (He’s a man. No need to turn your heads. Go ahead.)

Continue reading Eyes on me

Our work

Hey everyone!

I know it’s been so long and I almost stopped posting here as often as I used to. I am really sorry about it. I’ve started working and hence I don’t get much time to write as often or think about what to write.

But today, I am really happy and I want to share my happiness with you all. Me and my friend Prateek have been working on a short film. It took around four or give months to finish this. There had been so many things happening that the production of this film for delayed.

My friend and coactors had exams, entrances, personal works and so many other things that kept coming up but finally our time, dedication and hard work has paid off in a forum of film that we wanted to create.

Here’s the YouTube link of the film:

Go watch this short film and share your views on it. You can also share the video if you like it. My friend wishes to pursue his career in film making and this was his first film where he has managed and did everything. So you words will help him grow and your appreciation will help him to motivate himself.

Thank you for giving your time to our film already. 🙂

What I can never understand…

I do not understand hate at all. I mean personal grudges or rivalries are fine because someone stole your girlfriend or harmed your loved ones in anyway or bought a better phone than yours are like personal reasons to envy someone or hate them but the hate for a whole community is something I can never understand.

One religious cult hates another one and kills the people who follow it or one region hates the other region and bombs it are the things I can never understand. And a kind of hate to which I am personally associated is hate towards sexuality other than heterosexuality. In this post, I am going to talk about the hate for alternate sexuality. Continue reading What I can never understand…