Tag Archives: offensive

Discrimination in the name of preference

So, being androgynous, I’m less of a man for the world. I’m effeminate because I’m not masculine enough and I often come across people who would say, “no offence but I don’t like effeminate guys”.

Now, many of you may not find it offensive or discriminatory, however, for a person who has been facing discrimination for all his life, fighting against the bullies still standing strong as who he is, you don’t really get the right to say, “you shouldn’t feel bad”, unless you’ve been on the receiving end. 

For me, masculine guys are a turn off but I prefer to say, “I prefer twinks”. If the person is still persistent, I simply start ignoring them. Ignoring someone may seem to be rude but ignoring a person whom you have clarified you aren’t attracted to them isn’t as rude as saying, “I don’t like bulky guys”. Because the moment you do that, it will hurt the ego of those gym freaks that how can he say no to a hot guy like me. 

A guy who spends time in gym, invests his time and money to get that body. He has done a hard work to get that body and that’s why they can feel offended when someone tells them that they are not someone’s type. Similarly, an effeminate guy has been through a lot of mental and social stigma. They have worked hard to be where they are and who they are and hence they too can feel offended by statements like, “I don’t like effeminate guys”.

Stop justifying your statement and think from their perspective for once. Moreover, stop giving stupid excuses for your statement. This one guy had an excuse, “I’m gay because I prefer GUYS. If I had to date someone feminine, I’d have been straight.” Trust me, he isn’t the only one to think like that. I’ve seen many such people. 

Here’s the thing, sexuality is purely determined by the sexual organs and not by gender. That’s why everyone needs to learn the difference between gender and sex. A straight man is a person with male genitalia (read dicks) and attracted to female genitalia (read vagina) and vice versa. Similarly, a gay man is a person with male genitalia and attracted to male genitalia.  

What I’m trying to say is, you are not gay because you like masculine people but because you like dicks over pussy. There are many masculine girls, doesn’t mean you can imagine having sex with her. Similarly straight men prefer pussy not femininity otherwise, they wouldn’t have minded dating effeminate guys. Now that its clear, why you are gay, lemme tell you guys a little secret : Effeminate guys also have dicks.

When you say, “I don’t like effeminate guys”, what you’re actually saying is, “I don’t like dicks of people who make me feel that they should’ve had pussy”. Now if that’s not offensive, then I don’t know what is. You might be best friends with effeminate guys, but with that one “I don’t like effeminate guys” you showed that you’re distrustful towards your own friends. 

There are so many way to not be offensive, like:

  1. I don’t get sexually attracted to guys like you but I don’t mind being friends (its not like every gay guy you come across, you have sex with them). 
  2. I am sexually attracted to such guys. 
  3. I prefer this type of guys. 
  4. I’m sorry but I think you should find someone else. 
  5. I have my eyes for someone else. 

And so many other ways. All you need to do is feel what your words can make others feel. That’s why we are humans. We have the capability to understand what others can feel and strive to help each other grow strong, instead of casually saying anything and then trying to defend it. Be kind to others as long as they are not being rude to you. 

Effeminate guys are guys too. Not liking them is not your preference. Your preference can be hunks, twinks, bears, otters, nerd, geek, etc. When you have to tell someone, tell them your preference. Why do you have to mention what is NOT your preference? 

With that, I should head to my work now. Enjoy your day and think before you speak. 

How I stopped getting offended by abuses

Disclaimer: this post contains abusive words, not to offend anyone. If you don’t like to read abusive words STOP here and don’t read further.

There was a time abuses used to offend me but the more I learnt the meanings, I stopped getting offended by the words. The more I stopped getting affected by the abuses, the more I was able to offend the abusers. Continue reading How I stopped getting offended by abuses

Letter to Bewakoof.com

Hi team!

I am disappointed to say this that you people are disrespectful (may not be all but I believe most of you).

I have bought a pair of boxers and vests from you and I had been hoping to buy a few more items from you for I used to believe that you people have some really nice stuffs. Unfortunately I regret shopping with you people now.

Let me give you a brief detail about why I am disappointed in you guys. I am gay and recently I came across a post on your page which is to save female infants. The cause maybe good but in order to promote that, you people are spreading homophobia.

Your post reads “save the girl children or else 25 years later your son will come home and say Asha to mili nahi so Ashish le aya”.

What’s wrong with the post? Let me help you understand. In our country we are already denied from having the rights to marry the guy we love and there are hell lot of homophobic people who just hate our existence as if we are intruding their lives.

To add to their hatred, your post suggests that we want to marry men because we don’t have the option to marry a girl.

Let me tell you, there are a lot of girls who would love to marry me and to many of my homosexual friends but we want to marry a person of same sex out of love and not because men are substitute for women when there’s no one to marry.

Gays existed from the very beginning of the human life till now and none of them have been homosexual because they had scarcity of women. The sad thing is, all the people out there think it’s a joke but for people like us, you are making a joke on us. You are portraying us an a substitute during the scarcity of women.

NO WE ARE NOT SUBSTITUTES. We want to marry a person of the same sex for the same reason any straight couple wants to get married and that is love.

Your post is more offensive than people’s comment out there for I would not have expected this from you people.

I can give you the stupid lame threats like I can make hell lot of people to stop buying from you (which I can actually do) but I would expect you guys to be a little more sensitive towards a person’s life.

Give some respect to existence of the people who most of the times end up without their families in this country. Give respect to those so many unaccounted deaths who have committed suicide because they are constantly pushed to live a life that they cannot really live. Give respect to those hell lot of homosexuals who are the reason for so many amazing wonders. For heavens sake give respect to Alan Turing because of whom you can use a computer in today’s world.

Don’t be so thankless to so many wonderful people like Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen DeGeneres, Ian McKellen and so many people from the history. Don’t be thankless to so many gay designers who have given your industry, the fashion industry, some really great designs. Show some respect.

At least understand that gay marriages are also out of love and not out of not having an option.

Work for a social cause but not at the cost of making jokes on another social stigma.

I don’t know what actions are you gonna take but I hope you guys will understand.

Thanks and regards,

Divya Roop.