Tag Archives: words

Discrimination in the name of preference

So, being androgynous, I’m less of a man for the world. I’m effeminate because I’m not masculine enough and I often come across people who would say, “no offence but I don’t like effeminate guys”.

Now, many of you may not find it offensive or discriminatory, however, for a person who has been facing discrimination for all his life, fighting against the bullies still standing strong as who he is, you don’t really get the right to say, “you shouldn’t feel bad”, unless you’ve been on the receiving end. 

For me, masculine guys are a turn off but I prefer to say, “I prefer twinks”. If the person is still persistent, I simply start ignoring them. Ignoring someone may seem to be rude but ignoring a person whom you have clarified you aren’t attracted to them isn’t as rude as saying, “I don’t like bulky guys”. Because the moment you do that, it will hurt the ego of those gym freaks that how can he say no to a hot guy like me. 

A guy who spends time in gym, invests his time and money to get that body. He has done a hard work to get that body and that’s why they can feel offended when someone tells them that they are not someone’s type. Similarly, an effeminate guy has been through a lot of mental and social stigma. They have worked hard to be where they are and who they are and hence they too can feel offended by statements like, “I don’t like effeminate guys”.

Stop justifying your statement and think from their perspective for once. Moreover, stop giving stupid excuses for your statement. This one guy had an excuse, “I’m gay because I prefer GUYS. If I had to date someone feminine, I’d have been straight.” Trust me, he isn’t the only one to think like that. I’ve seen many such people. 

Here’s the thing, sexuality is purely determined by the sexual organs and not by gender. That’s why everyone needs to learn the difference between gender and sex. A straight man is a person with male genitalia (read dicks) and attracted to female genitalia (read vagina) and vice versa. Similarly, a gay man is a person with male genitalia and attracted to male genitalia.  

What I’m trying to say is, you are not gay because you like masculine people but because you like dicks over pussy. There are many masculine girls, doesn’t mean you can imagine having sex with her. Similarly straight men prefer pussy not femininity otherwise, they wouldn’t have minded dating effeminate guys. Now that its clear, why you are gay, lemme tell you guys a little secret : Effeminate guys also have dicks.

When you say, “I don’t like effeminate guys”, what you’re actually saying is, “I don’t like dicks of people who make me feel that they should’ve had pussy”. Now if that’s not offensive, then I don’t know what is. You might be best friends with effeminate guys, but with that one “I don’t like effeminate guys” you showed that you’re distrustful towards your own friends. 

There are so many way to not be offensive, like:

  1. I don’t get sexually attracted to guys like you but I don’t mind being friends (its not like every gay guy you come across, you have sex with them). 
  2. I am sexually attracted to such guys. 
  3. I prefer this type of guys. 
  4. I’m sorry but I think you should find someone else. 
  5. I have my eyes for someone else. 

And so many other ways. All you need to do is feel what your words can make others feel. That’s why we are humans. We have the capability to understand what others can feel and strive to help each other grow strong, instead of casually saying anything and then trying to defend it. Be kind to others as long as they are not being rude to you. 

Effeminate guys are guys too. Not liking them is not your preference. Your preference can be hunks, twinks, bears, otters, nerd, geek, etc. When you have to tell someone, tell them your preference. Why do you have to mention what is NOT your preference? 

With that, I should head to my work now. Enjoy your day and think before you speak. 

Why do I love you – story

He was sitting in the balcony of his flat on the 15th floor in a lush green locality with the moonlight reflecting through the water of the sea in a distance on a starry night. The coffee on the table had gone cold and the ash tray was filled with ashes and cigarette butts. 

He was still smoking the Marlboro lights, his favorite brand, when someone came and sat next to him. “You know its not good. You have already smoked 7 in last 2 hours. Don’t do this to yourself.”, that person said.

“Did it hurt you as well?”, the only question he thought of asking.

“You know I’ll speak what you think. I’m just a figment of your thoughts. So, yes. Letting you go was hard for me as well. I loved you. I still do. But you remember my last words? I asked you if you want to be with me. But you were too scared. I know you have never been loved completely and that’s why you were scared. We are all scared of something new. But your walls were too high. I tried my best to break down your walls.”

“Did you ever feel that I don’t love you? Was ‘I love you’ the only thing that could have told you how much I love you?”

“No, but I wanted to hear it from you. I tried to enter inside those walls and be with you but you kept pulling yourself away.”

“You know, I’m glad that you found someone who allowed you in after you left me. I wish I could just forget that I still love you.”

A voice interrupted from behind, “You see, that’s why I told you that your love has no value.”

He knew this voice. His head lowered and the tears drizzled over his black T-shirt which knew how to absorb and hide it from everyone else. That was one of the reasons why black was his favorite color.

The person sitting next to him vanished in thin air and the voice from behind continued. “You fall in love with people and you still love them. How could you do this? Did I not mean anything to you?”

He replied, “I wish I could show you what you mean to me. Everything I did for you was because I love you.”

“Hahahahaha. You just said I love you to him and now you’re saying you love me? You prove that love is just a word for you. Your ex at least knows the value of that word and I’m happy that I found a guy like him. At least, he does not go around saying I love you to everyone.”

“I’m glad. I can’t stop loving either of you.”

Another voice took over, “That’s why I was scared to be with you. I knew you will never be mine completely. You still love them and you being polyamorous, I felt insecure. I wish it was not this way. I had to find someone who can love me and take me out of my darkness. I don’t know if I will ever be able to love again but the least I can do is keep that person happy who loves me and me alone.”

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the perfect lover. How I wish!”

Another person came and sat on his knees in front of him to hold his trembling hand and said, “You know I’m always going to be there for you. I am insecure as well to know that you may love someone else someday. But I’m not going to leave you.”

“I know you love me but you’ll leave as well once you’ll find someone to love you only.”

“You are just too scared and I hope one day, this will change.”, with those words, that person stood up and disappeared. 

Another person came from behind and caressed his hair. “Dave, you’re a beautiful person but you carry darkness within you. I loved you but I have my own darkness. We both need someone to take us to light. Your darkness would have added to mine. That’s why I had to ask you to leave. I’m sorry that I made you build your walls so high.”

“Its done. You already got someone I love. I hope you find the light. This is my life now. This is my darkness.”

“For the first time, I don’t know why, but your words have hurt me. But I know, this too shall pass.”

The caressing stopped and another figure appeared, standing near the railing of the balcony. “I admire you. You are like an inspiration for me. You make me believe that one day everything will be fine. How can you think of being with someone who is your inspiration?”

“You don’t have to justify yourself. I will learn to stop falling in love.”

All the voices came together now, “If that’s what you want, let us help you build your walls higher than before.”

That night, he went off to sleep only to wake up as an amorophobic person. His walls, higher than before. His emotions locked down in a dark corner. Maybe someday, someone will walk in, to try and bring him to light but who knows, if that will be another evil play or a real love.

I hope you liked it 🙂